Parents-Children Rights

Now that we have come to this topic, it would be proper to discuss some of the children-parents duties against each other as well as the quality of their relations.
A child should never call his parents by their first names. He should not walk ahead of them or sit before they do. A person went to the Holy Prophet (SAW) and said: What is the right of my child? The Holy Prophet (SAW) said:
* * *
“Choose a good name for him. Teach him good manners, and prepare him for a bright future.”
The Holy Prophet (SAW) said:
* * *
“A good child is a source of happiness for man.”
The Holy Prophet (SAW) also said:
* * *
“A child for his father is as a flower sent by God, with good smell. Surely Hassan and Hussein are my flower whom I have named after two tribes of Bani Israel, Shabr and Shubair.”
Fazl Ibne abi Qareh ha reported on the authority of Imam Sadeq (AS) :
* * *
“The Holy Prophet (SAW) has said: Once Jesus (AS) passed by the grave of a man who was in torment. The following year when Jesus passed by the same grave, he noticed that the torment had been removed. He said: O Lord! last year when I was passing by the grave of this man, he was in torment but he is not now! God said: A good child has been left of him who guides people and gives refuge to orphans. For this reason, I have forgiven him his sins.”
Then the Holy Prophet (SAW) said: “The heritage a believing man leaves for God is a child who worships God after him.”
Imam Sadeq (AS) quoting Prophet Zakaria in verses 4-6 of the Quranic Chapter, Mary says:
* * *
“.....Therefore grant me from thyself an heir, who should inherit me and inherit from the children of Yaqoub, and make him, my Lord, one in whom thou art well pleased.”
It has been reported on the authority of Holy Prophet (SAW)
* * *
“Whoever has four sons but does not name one of them after me has treated me unkindly.”
Suleiman Ja-afari says: I heard Imam Kazem (AS) saying:
* * *
“Destitution never enters a house in which there are the names of Mohammad, Ahmad, Ali, Hassan, Hussein, Taleb, Abdullah, or Fatima (among women).
* * *
“Whenever Satan hears someone calling Mohammad or Ali, he will be melted as lead.”
Imam Reza (AS) says:
* * *
“Whenever a son is born into our family, we name him “Mohammad” for a week. After that, we can change the name or keep it.”
Imam Reza (AS) has also said:
* * *
“Choose good names for your children, for on the Day of Judgment, you will be called with the same names, saying: O such and such person rise up to your light! O such and such person, rise up! You have no light.”
Mohammad Ibne Yaghoob reports on the authority of Imam Sadeq (AS):
* * *
“When your wife has gone pregnant for four months, place her in the direction of Qiblah, give a gentle blow to her side and say: O God! I have named him Mohammad. In that case God will make him a son. If you keep this name, God will give him blessing and if he changes the name, God may take or leave him.”
The Holy Prophet (SAW) has said:
* * *
“Should anyone having a baby on the way intends to name him Mohammad or Ali, God will give him a baby boy.”
Whenever Imam Zainal Abedeen (AS) was informed that a child had been born to him, he did not ask whether it was a boy or a girl, rather he would say: Is the infant healthy and without any deformity? If the answer was positive, he would say;
* * *
“Praise is due to Allah who did not given me a deformed child.”
Imam Moosa Kazeem (AS) has said:
* * *
“A man who sees his successive child before his death, is lucky. Then he said: God has shown to me my successor. The Imam was referring to his son. Imam Reza.”
Imam Sadeq (AS) has said:
* * *
“God will send blessing upon a father who has a great love of his children.”
A man said to Imam Sadeq (AS): To whom should I do good?
“To your parents.” He said: They have passed away. The Imam said: * *
“Treat your children fairly.”
Imam Sadeq (AS) has also said:
* * *
“Love the children and have mercy on them and whenever you give them promise, keep it, for they consider you as provider of food.”
Imam Sadeq (AS) has also said:
* * *
“Whoever kisses his child, it will be a virtue for him. Whoever makes his child happy, God will make him happy on the Day of Judgment. And whoever teaches his son the Holy Quran, parents are called to give them two garments from whose light, the face of the inhabitants of paradise will become bright.”
A man came to the Holy Prophet (SAW) and said: I have never kissed a child. When the man went away, the Holy Prophet (SAW) said:
* * *
“This man, in our opinion, is an inhabitant of Fire.”
One day the Holy Prophet saw a man from ansar (Helpers) kissing one child and leaving the other, so he said:
* * *
“Why don’t you observe equity between them?”
A man said: I went to Imam Moosa Kazeem complaining of my child. The Imam said:
* * *
“Don’t beat him rather don’t speak to him for some time but let it not be too long.”
The Holy Prophet (SAW) drew his hand on the head of his children and his grandchildren every morning. One day when he was praying with people, he shortened the last two Rakat and when the prayer was completed some one said to the Holy Prophet: O Messenger of Allah! You shortened the prayer, have you received my revelation? The Holy Prophet (SAW) said:
* * *
“What is wrong with it?”
They said: You shortened the last two Rakat. The Holy Prophet said:
* * *
“Didn’t you hear the moaning of the child?”
In another Hadith, the Holy Prophet has been quoted as saying:
* * *
“I feared that the child’s father might be preoccupied with him.”
Source:
Oddatatol Daee
(The Asset of Supplicant)

Imam Reza Network

Rights of the Children upon Their Parents

Just as it is Wajib for the children to respect, honour and fulfill the rights of their parents, it is incumbent upon the mother and the father to fulfill the rights, which the children have upon them. If the parents do not fulfill these rights, it would amount to Qat’a ar-Rahm (cutting off the relationships). Since children are the closest to parents it is a must to refrain from Qat’a ar-Rahm with them, and Qat’a ar-Rahm is a great sin, as would be described later.
Just as the children become ‘Āq al-Walidayn’ by not complying with their duties, the parents also become ‘Āq’ if they fail to perform their duties towards their children. Further, the parents should not impose unbearable commands upon the children such that the children are forced to find excuses for not obeying them and thus become ‘Āq’.
The parents should not ridicule their children for their actions. Rather the children must be corrected by constructive criticism. Ridicule makes the children stubborn and creates enmity between them and the parents. When the parents fail to fulfill the rights of the children, it induces the children to forsake the rights of the parents in retaliation. As a consequence, both the parents and the children are involved in a Greater Sin.
The Holy Prophet (S) said: “The parents are liable to be ‘Āq’ in the same way as the children who do not fulfill the rights of the parents become involved in the sin of ‘Uqūq’ (plural of Āq).”
It is therefore a solemn duty of the parents to behave kindly with their children and give them a good training and education. They should keep them under gentle control and must not do anything that would cause them to be ‘Āq’.
For example, the parents should overlook the minor faults of the children. They should appreciate insignificant favours and show happiness and gratitude for these favours which would encourage the child to further good actions. They should make the children aware that they wish them the best and pray for their happiness in the world and the Hereafter.
We will now put forward the rights of children upon their parents, as enunciated by educated jurists and propounded in the books of Islamic Law.
Maintenance of Children
It is Wajib upon the parents to bear the expenses of the children right from the time of their birth till they become independent, and in case of a daughter, till she gets married.
Arranging the Marriage
One of the most important duties of the father is to arrange for the marriage of the son when he attains maturity. In case of the daughter too the father must strive to find a good match for her. The parents cannot restrain their daughter from matrimony. The Holy Qur’an states clearly: “...then do not prevent them from marrying their husbands when they agree among themselves in a lawful manner.” (Surah al-Baqarah 2:232)
Religious Education and Training
Another important duty for the parents is to give a good education to their children. The parents must strive to instruct the children with regard to the fundamentals of Islamic faith. The seriousness and significance of observing the laws of Shari’a should be inculcated in the children, and no leniency must be shown if the religious laws are not strictly followed.
However, the aspect of Amr bil Ma’rūf and Nahy Anil Munkar must be kept in mind. The details regarding the same shall be explained in the chapter of Amr bil Ma’rūf (enjoining good) and Nahy Anil Munkar (forbidding evil).
Various traditions stress upon the duty of the parents to shower their love and affection upon the children. A few of these are quoted below.
Love and Affection For the Children
The Holy Prophet (S) said: “Be affectionate to your children and have mercy upon them. When you promise them something, fulfill your promise because the children repose hope only in the parents. When a promise is not fulfilled, it causes dissatisfaction and strains relationships. Certainly Allah is most wrathful when the women and children are disheartened.”
Kissing the Children
The Holy Prophet (S) has told that when a person kisses his child, a good deed is recorded in his Sahifat al-Amāl(Scroll of deeds). (Wasa’il ul-Shia)
Daughters Are More Deserving of Kindness
The parents have been ordered to be more kind towards the daughters. It is mustahab that when a father brings something for the children he must first offer it to the daughter; especially the one who is named Fatima.
If the children oppose the parents, they must never be abused or reviled. The curses of the parents cause an increase in the misery of the children.
Spiritual Fathers Are More Qualified For Kindness
Whatever has been mentioned till now concerns the biological parents; however the spiritual fathers or the guides of humanity are Hazrat Muhammad (S) and his Purified Ahl ul-Bayt (a.s.). All of us are spiritually related to them. In every circumstance their followers can be enriched by virtues and get protection from calamities. The Holy Prophet (S) has informed, “I and ‘Ali (both) are the fathers of this Umma.”
The spiritual fathers are superior to the biological parents in a manner that the soul is superior to the physical body. Similarly the punishment of the ‘Āq’ of the spiritual fathers is much more severe than that of the ‘Āq’ of ordinary parents.
High Rewards and More Punishment
The rewards for kindness to the spiritual father is a thousand times more than kindness to the real parents. In the same way the ‘Āq’ of a spiritual father is far more severely punishable, i.e., Heaven is prohibited for the person who disobeys the spiritual father, and none of his deeds are accepted even if he prays in the nights and fasts during the day.
The punishment for those who do not acknowledge the Wilāyat of Ahl ul-Bayt (a.s.) is more severe because the Ahl ul-Bayt (a.s.) are the real spiritual fathers. It would be wrong to consider all the Qur’anic verses and traditions in connection with Uqūq al-Waledain to be restricted to biological parents. The Holy Qur’an and hadith are unanimous in declaring that the commands for Uqūq al-Waledain apply equally and more stringently to the spiritual as well as biological parents. The ultimate argument in this connection is the Qur’anic verse wherein Allah (S.w.T.) has ordered obedience towards the parents along with His own worship.
“Be grateful to Me and both your parents.” (Surah Luqmān 31:14)
“And your Lord has commanded that you shall not serve (any) but Him, and goodness to your parents.” (Surah al-‘Isrā’, 17:23)
A similar reference to the Holy Prophet (S) and the Ahl ul-Bayt (a.s.) is to be found in the chapter of Silet ar-Rahm. Two traditions are reported from Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq (a.s.)
The first tradition is when Umrū bin Yazid enquired about the meaning of the following Ayat of Surah ar-Rā’d: “And those who join that which Allah has bidden to be joined and have awe of their Lord and fear the evil reckoning.” (Surah ar-Rā’d 13:21)
The next tradition is concerned with the tafsir of the same ‘Ayat’. It says that the above Ayat has been revealed about the Silet ar-Rahm to Muhammad (S) and the Ahl ul-Bayt (a.s.), the close relatives of the Mu’min being included in it. The tradition further says, “And do not be of those who restrict the Ayat to some particular personalities. But whenever you hear of a verse regarding a kind of people you must consider it to be applicable to the other people of the same kind.”
The Uqūq of Spiritual Fathers
The Uqūq of the spiritual fathers means to disobey their commands and to be heedless of their orders. To sever relationships with them in this world by not acknowledging their leadership. Imam Riďa (a.s.) asked, “Won’t you feel bad if your parents are displeased and say that you are not their child?”
Those who were present answered, “Yes”. Imam (a.s.) continued, “The spiritual parents are superior to your biological parents. Do not give them an opportunity to say this. Rather consider yourself lucky be to their son or daughter”.
Sayyid Abdul Husein Dastghaib
Imam reza network

Solidifying the Root of the Family

There is no doubt that anything which confirms the roots of the family and increases the perception of marital relations is good for the family unit.
The greatest efforts must be made to have this happen.
The opposite is also true.
Anything which causes the relationship between a husband and wife to grow cold is detrimental to a family and must be struggled against.

Finding the fulfillment of sexual desires within the family environment and within the framework of a legal marriage will strengthen the relationship between a husband and wife causing their union to become more stable.

The philosophy of the modest dress and the control of sexual desires other than with a legal wife, from the point of view of the family unit, is so that one legal partner will be the cause for the wellbeing of the other, whereas in the system of free sexual relationships, one's legal partner is psychologically considered as a competitor, someone who gets in the way of that person's 'fun' like a prison guard.
As a result, the basis for the family becomes enmity and hatred.

The youth of today have fled from marriage and whenever marriage is suggested to them, they say, "It is too soon.
I am still too young," or give some other excuse because of this very reason.
In the past, one of the greatest desires of the young people was to get married.
They were not so particular before about the blessings of Europe which introduced so many women as goods.

Marriage in the past was undertaken after a time of anticipation and wishful thinking.
For this very reason, the partners saw their happiness and well-being in their partner.
But today, sexual desires are so freely satisfied outside of marriage that there is no longer any reason to have the former feelings.
Free relationships of girls and boys have made marriage look like a duty and a limitation to them. It then becomes necessary to speak to them about ethics, morals, etc.
As some magazines suggest, it must be forced upon the young people.

The difference between the society which limits sexual relations to the family environment and a legal marriage with a society which promotes free relationships is that marriage in the first society is the end to the anticipation and deprivation whereas in the latter, it is the beginning of deprivation and limitation.
In the system of free sexual relationships, the marriage contract ends the free period of boys and girls and it obliges them to learn to be loyal to each other whereas in the Islamic system, their deprivation and anticipation is met.

The system of free relationships, in the first place, causes boys to become soldiers of fortune because of marriage and the formation of a family and not until their high, young spirits tend to become weak, do they turn to marriage.
Then a girl is taken because she will bear children or clean the house or act as a maid.
In the second place, it weakens the roots of the existing marriage.
Instead of the marriage being based upon a pure love and deep affection where they know their partner to be the person who shares in their happiness, the reverse happens.
They look at their partner with the eyes of a competitor, as a person who prevents freedom and brings limitations.
As they say, each one becomes the other's prison guard .
When a boy or girl want to say, "I am married," they say instead, "I have taken on a prison guard." What does this mean?
This means that before marriage they were free to go wherever they wanted to flirt.
There was no one to tell them what to do.
But after marriage, these freedoms were limited.
If a man goes home late one night, there will be an argument with his partner. "Where were you?" If he talks with a young girl, his wife objects.
It is clear to what extent family relations become weakened and cold in such a system.

Some people like Bertrand Russell believe that the prevention of free relationships is not just for the certainty of men in relationship to future generations because methods of birth control have been developed to solve this difficulty.
Thus, the issue is not just the knowledge of who the father is.
The other issue is that the purest of emotions exist between the marriage partners and the relationship should be based on unity and solidarity.
These goals can only be met when the partners close their eyes to other relationships, when the man closes his eyes to other women, when the wife is not bent on stimulating and attracting anyone but her husband and when the principle of forbidding the satisfaction of sexual desires outside of the family, even before marriage, exists.

In addition, when a woman who has progressed following Russell and people like him and in accordance with the 'new sexual ethics' still seeks her love in another in spite of having a legal husband.
When she sleeps with a man who has become the love of her life, what assurance is there that she will take preventing measures with a man who is her legal husband whom she does not love and not get pregnant by the man she now loves and then claims her legal husband to be the father of the child?
It is clear that such a woman will prefer to have her child be the product of the man she now loves, not of the man who the law says is her legal husband and the only person by whom she should have children.
It is natural that a man should have children by a woman who loves him and not by a woman who is forced upon him by the law.
Europe has clearly shown that the statistics for illegitimate children has risen at an alarming rate despite the modern means for preventing pregnancy.

by Ayatullah Murtadha Mutahhari, The Islamic Modest Dress
www.ahlulbaytportal.com

The relationship between faith and love in a Muslim family

The relationship between faith and love in a Muslim family
Family is the holiest social structure as well as the initial core that establishes the human society. The establishment of a safe social relationship on the basis of mutual respect, protection of rights and duties of its members, consideration of morality and generosity, plays a key role in safeguarding its consolidation, fluency and stability. This structure at the same time being the primary social unit of human relations proclaims a high position in customs, laws, human social and historical traditions worth regard to all the differences they may have had or still have. The basic members of the family including father, mother and children (boys and girls) and at the next level grandfather and grandmother, uncles and aunts benefit from written or non-written rights and duties, in society’s customs and traditions whether tribal or ancient in the modern or advanced world. Each of the various sciences such as sociology, psychology, and socio-psychology; as well as, law, literature, poetry, art, tribal myths or even as is seen in recent conventions that are held by different civil organizations especially the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, reflect the man’s susceptibility and his emphasis on the family. Among the above mentioned, the semantic religions which are the great messenger of morality, truth, friendship, and respect have faced this matter with creativity which springs from their feeling of responsibility. This can be easily proven with a quick glance at the history, literature, religious texts and the written or non-written heritage that is left by our ancestors.
Islam, the last Divine religion whose holy text, the Holy Qur’an, is still unchanged and safe from distortion and from which the richest historical and traditional (Ravaee) documents have remained untouched, has studied this subject more than any other religion and culture and has emphasized on its importance. At this point, it would be beneficial to mention the following documents in order to make clear the Islamic principles and values concerning family and its rights and duties:
1. The Holy Qur’an many of whose verses relate to the family system and the rights of its members as well as about the rights of father, mother (parents), child, old people, girls, women even about the servants who live at their home.
2. The words of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) who has taught his apostles and companions about these important issues.
3. The words of the Prophet’s (SAW) companions inspired from the Prophet’s (SAW) words.
4. The words of the members of his household and the successors of Hazrat Muhammad (SAW) who had been the trustees of his knowledge. It is possible to study these statements in Nahjul-Balagha, which is written by Imam Ali, Amir-al-mu’omenin (AS) and other traditional (Hadith) books.
5. The Prophet’s (SAW) behavior, the generous companions and Imams (AS) of the Prophet’s household who are the merited examples for Muslims to be followed, as relates to their relationships with their fathers, mothers, other family members and Muslims. Such behavior can be widely found throughout the historical books
6. The prayers that have been left by the great religious men. These prayers are very rich sources and are also filled with Islamic training about family rights.
7. And finally, one of the very valuable and rich sources that can be used is Imam Saj’jad’s (AS), treatise (Resa’la) of Imam Ali ibn al Hussain (AS) that is called “Resa’lat ul Hoquq”. This treatise is a valuable and exact explanation of the Imam’s opinion of rights in Islam.
Imam Saj’jad (AS) mentioned 50 important rights concerning individual and social responsibilities in relation to Allah and one. These rights include the rights of mothers, fathers, children, brothers and other relatives. This treatise (resa’la) is worth reading and learning from.
The importance of cultural and social backgrounds in the interpretation of family rights in Islamic texts:
A study of the Islamic texts concerning family rights, and it’s comparison to customs and habits of the Prophet’s (SAW) era in the Arabian Peninsula and other areas around it such as Rome and Iran, and even a comparison of the rules of the non-Islamic societies during the centuries following shows how advanced and just these rules are.
In a society in which children particularly daughters were buried alive, women were considered second class citizens and were even used as blood-money at tribal disputes, the mention of kindness, love and respect for the personality, social and political rights of women was like a dream. Moreover, recommendations concerning a child’s right to fostering, nurturing and education was considered as idealistic but all of these are realities in Islamic culture.
The philosophy of family rights in Islam:
From an Islamic viewpoint, the fundamental principles and basic values in establishing a family are as follows:
1. Mutual love between a wife and a husband.
2. Coordination between faith and religion.
3. Consideration of the common cultural and economical background.
4. The holy agreement between a man and a woman.
5. Mutual respect and moral dominance.
6. Being responsible for/towards children.
The above principles, that will be explained briefly, not only are the basis of a common safe and sound life, but also cause its stability and continuity.
1. Mutual love between a wife and a husband:
“And one of His signs is that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest in them, and He put between you love and compassion; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect.” (ar-Rum, 21).
In this Holy A’yah in addition to emphasis on the most important principle of a matrimony life (love and peace), they are also considered to be the kindnesses and favors of Allah, which He has created.
2. Coordination between the faith and religion of man and woman:
Man’s matrimonial life cannot stabilize and continue on the basis of conflict and contradiction. Love cannot be continued if it is established solely on feelings of affection. This type of love is nothing but passion (Hawa). In an Islamic family the important thing is common belief, deep and holy love. So, a woman and a man who are Muslims and share the same religion are true mates. If this common idea is incorporated with “love” and “responsibility”, it will form the foundation of a good family life.
3. Common cultural and economical background:
This principle is a form of social advice of Islam to the families that similarity in cultural, social and economical status should be considered in matrimonial life. But of course this is not a general principle. There are several cases among the Prophet’s (SAW) apostles who were encouraged by the great Prophet (SAW) to marry a girl from a wealthy family, with her assent, to a faithful and honest boy of lesser means. But it is experienced that such marriages must have strong religious and cultural support. In general, it is better to consider the suitability of education, economics, beauty, and professional position in the society.
3. The Holy agreement between a man and a woman:
It is very simple. Two brief sentences that express this concept are the acceptance of mutual love and the responsibility as regard to rights and duties. And what mentioned above is necessary for a heaven life that is formed in the earth. This agreement destroys the possibility of chaos in the relationship between a man and a woman; more over it makes this relationship legal and divine.
4. Mutual respect and moral dominance:
Even though, in Islam like all other legal systems, rules that compose the rights and duties of family members are dominant in the relationship, consideration of morality, forgiveness, generosity and devotion hold a high position. Living under the protection of morality offers such a special serenity and spirituality that a formal life under the control of law is not able to provide. This only becomes possible if there is bilateral forgiveness and generosity.
All the Divine religions like Islam are interested in making morality and mutual respect dominate over all fields of society, but the sweet taste of this principle is more manifest in family life.
5. Being responsible towards children:
Children as members of the family are the result of human sexual instincts and his need to procreate. Parents and children have mutual rights. There is a right for each duty and in contrast, a duty for each right that is stressed in Islamic verses and traditions (Rawaya’t). The safe haven, which exists in the family and results in the improvement and promotion of man, can be established by considering these rights and duties.
Reference: al-shia.org

Family in Islam

Islam has instituted the system of family on sound bases agreeing with the life necessities and the individuals’ exigencies and behavior. It has regarded the family talents that are afforded by God, as spontaneous. God says:
And one of his signs is that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest in them, and He put between you love and compassion.
This phenomenon on which mankind have been natured is one of God’s grand portents and graces. Islam also works for arranging the Muslim families to be good exemplars and have the elements of orthodox leadership.
As God exposes the manners of the virtuous servants, He says:
O Our Lord! Grant us in our wives and our offspring the joy of our eyes, and make us guides to those who guard against evil.
The availability of good exemplars and virtuous patterns is the most important rule in the educational processes.
In the previous surveys of genetics, we have referred to the Islamic rule that any matrimonial bond should be first founded on test so that the defects of any spouse would not move to the coming generations and societies. Islam has also given fathers the guardianship on their daughters for selecting the most appropriate husband and dismissing the disabled who may cause misfortunes and problems. Since women generally realize only the shells of life, they naturally show blemish in selecting for themselves. In most cases, women are deceived by their fiancés’ false promises and appearances.
Most women lack enough acquaintance with the deceitful licentious individuals that may speak of the fascinating words of love and fondness and imaginary promises and pledges. They ignore that a satisfactory marriage occurs only when the other party enjoys noble ethics and high traits that encourage on caring for their affairs and rights, and producing virtuous offspring that bring pleasure and contentment in the final age. Islam stresses on this result.
The system of families that is instituted by Islam relies upon the deep cognizance of the elements of family contentment and bond in physiological, mental, and social fields. It calls for satisfying each individual with kindness, affection, moderation, and settlement.
Islam cares a lot for achieving amiability, understanding, and harmony between spouses since their bond represents the chief core of families. These qualities are available in the ideal spouses about whom Hammerlock Alice said, “Ideal marriage does not rest on accordant desires. It rests upon a chaste union that is based upon deep warmth that increases day by day to scope all of the fields. This is the union of flavors, feelings, and tendencies. It is the union of common life as it binds to paternity burdens.”
Islam wants the sexual bonds to be ideal and based firmly upon love and understanding so that the educational processes will fruit effectively and create sound societies.
Islam has legislated for attaining all of the objective courses aiming at conciliating, developing, and leading the families to prosperity. On that account, it paid a special attention to the role of home, and ordered the common ethics among families and delimited the private duties that bring about family association and have a positive influence on the educational composition.

Significance of Home
Home, through which the social environment achieves the children’s educational results, plays a considerable role in the educational processes. Children receive traditions, practices, beliefs, arts, traits, history, and triumphs of their nations through their homes. The social environment can attain its strong effects in education only when home accomplishes its missions successfully. Corruption of children is the natural and the inescapable consequence of home corruption. There is more than one role played by home in the educational processes since it is the natural source of affection and kindness. The way to tranquillity passes through home. Islam has devoted a specific attention to home. It has ordered that love and cordiality should prevail on homes. It also has regulated that any sorts of primness, forsaking, and reproach may retard the children’s adaptation. Serious deviations, such as the loss of security, self-confidence, and others, will affect the children whose homes are too short to fulfill their missions.
THE COMMON COURSES
Islam has constituted courses that are common among family members and called for applying them to their lives so that contentment will shade the all.
Love and Affiliation:
Islam has called for the predominance of love, affiliation, and cordiality among the family members who are required to avoid any concern that may confuse the purity of the living. Women should meet this liability in the first place since they can turn a home into a paradise -by fulfilling the duties, considering the morals, and being a unique believer- or into a hell. A man told the Prophet (s) of his wife’s customs, “She receives me as I enter the house, and sees me off as I leave, and alleviates my cares if she notices any.
She used to say, ‘You should care about nothing. If you care for the livings, this is the mission of other than you. If you are caring for a paradisiacal matter, Allah, then, may increase your care.’” The Prophet declared his great admiration of that lady, “Tell your lady that she will be abiding in the Paradise. She is truly one of God’s veritable servants.”
When wives take care of their husbands by fulfilling their duties, affiliation will be prevalent. Furthermore, a tie of deep adoration will be established among the family members, and this will lead to the successful education.
Cooperation:
Islam has called for the spouses’ collaboration in the living affairs and the management of the home affairs. It has called for living associatively in mutual affiliation and relationship. This is the task of the paterfamilias. Islam has bound the householders with attending to their wives and taking part in the home affairs. The Prophet (s) used to participate with his wives in the house affairs and say, “Partaking wives in the house affairs is a sort of alms.” Imam Ali (a) was wont to help Fatima az-Zahra (a), the veracious and the mistress of women of the worlds, in the housekeeping and the home management. These acts will surely establish a spirit of noble empathy -which is the most significant element of the sound education- in the sons’ essences.

Mutual Respect:
Islam has urged on mutual respect and abidance by morals among the family members. The older must feel for the younger, and the younger should reverence the older. The Prophet (s) said, “The old should be sympathetic to the young, and the young should reverence the old.” Abidance by morals erects a sense of good virtues and values. It correspondingly enjoins the maturity of perfect behavior in the children’s minds, and incites to fling in the field of collaboration with the family and the society. Psychoanalysts have proven that the children’s religious and moral values mature only in the family surroundings.
FAMILY DISORDER
The family members -chiefly the children- will suffer mental defects, nervous disorders, loss of sound behavior, and aberrance if the family is characterized by inharmony and disorder. Modern educational surveys show that family disorder and unsettlement is the biggest elements of aberrance. Crises that lead to deviation are the results of family clutter. Consequently, it is essentially incumbent, for protecting the juveniles from irregularity and deviation, to conserve the family settlement by removing all of the factors of distress and confusion.
FATHERS’ RESPONSIBILITIES

Not only are fathers responsible for saving their dependants’ alimonies and fiscal necessities, but also they are required to provide education, discipline, morals, and guidance. They must ensure the high traits and warn against evil.
Imam Zeinul-abidin (a) says, “Your sons’ right is that you should realize their being parts of you and attached to you in good and evil. You are responsible for providing the noble traits, conducting them to their Lord, and backing them in worshipping Him as a compliance with you. They entirely be rewarded or punished. You should act to your sons as seekers of the good remuneration in this world, and justified to the Lord through the acceptable supervision and training.”
Imam Zeinul-abidin (a) was used to supplicating to the Lord for his son by saying, “O Lord! Make them filial pious, godly, aware, listeners, and obedient for Thee, and adherents and advisers for Thy saints, and mutinous and antipathetic of Thy foes.”
Fathers are subject to bring forth the chaste education for the sons to guarantee their sincerity. The Imams of the Prophet’s progeny regarded this topic highly. Imam Ali (a), the first Islamic educationist, says to his son, Imam al-Hassan, “I consider you being a part of me, being me all in all.
Anything that strikes you is actually striking me. Death when draws near to you is drawing to me. Your affairs are as same as mine.”
Yes indeed, sons are not only parts of their fathers. They are truly their fathers’ all in all. They expose their fathers’ existence and entity. From this cause, fathers should care for their sons’ education, edification, and perfection in order that they will take pride in them magnificently. On the other hand, sons may be evil and mischievous to their fathers if their education and affairs are neglected. The following are some of the fathers’ tasks:
1. Custody of Sons:

Fathers should take care of their sons by granting them with affection and tenderness, and conferring honor upon them. These matters form the most influential effects in structuring their educational entity and advancing their personalities and mental maturity.
The Prophet (s) had al-Hassan and al-Hussein -his grandsons- in the greatest custody. As he was having them on his shoulders, the Prophet (s) used to say, “These two are my single basil in this world. He whoever loves me should love them.” On another occasion, he said to Fatima az-Zahra (a), “Summon my two sons.” As she presented them, the Prophet (s) smelt and embraced them. It is also related that al-Aqra bin Habis, seeing the Prophet’s fondness and custody of his two grandchildren, said, “I do not remember I have ever kissed any of my ten sons.” This saying made the Prophet irate. “What can we do to a man that God has uprooted mercy from him!”

The Prophet (s) poured his ideal and guidance in the minds of his two grandsons. He also dwelled his merciful tendencies on them. Therefore, they became the excellent exemplars of perfection. Their liberal lifetime accumulated the total aspects of magnitude and divinity as well as whatsoever mankind boasts all over history. They achieved the elevation in ethics and essence, and delved into the fields of grandeur and right.
Fathers’ custody, affection, and charity to sons are the most consequential constituents of the educational entity that consummates the children’s personal affluence and spares the mental complexities that are the most serious diseases. Modern educational surveys have proved that good citizens and virtuous scientists are mostly the outcome of the careful families. Psychologists have asserted this fact, too. Conversely, the sons that are unwelcomed and disregarded by their families take aggressive paths and seem to be negative, quarreling, and rebellious, and invent skillful trickeries for disturbing the adults. Besides, they tend to criminal behavior.
- The aspects of the family negligence are as follows:
- Cruelty and excessive vulgarity in treating the children.
- The use of the fierce physical disciplining.
- The continuous criticizing, reproaching, and exposition of the children’s defects before others.
- Intemperance in neglecting and accusing the children.
- The negligence of praising the children.
- Disgracing the children before the other brothers and sisters.
- Showing astonishment when others praise the children.
Fathers should avoid the previous matters when they deal with their sons. This will save the children’s behaviors and guard them against irregularity and aberrance.

2. Equality:
Fathers should cover their sons with equal amounts of love, affection, and custody. Many psychological complexities, jealousy, fury, and the arising of mental passive revolts may occur to the children who notice any distinction in the fathers’ conservation. These effects may lead to serious psychological ailments.
The holy Quran exposes the story of Joseph the prophet when his father favored him to the other brothers. Consequently, they plotted for an artifice by which they threw him in a well and came to their fathers weeping. The father –Jacob the prophet- was so regretful that his eyes turned into white. A calamitous crisis that he had to suffer was owing to favoring a definite son to the others. The Prophet (s) is reported to say, “Treat your sons equally as you like to be treated fairly in benevolence and kindness.” As he noticed a father of two sons kiss one and neglect the other, the Prophet (s) reproached, “You should have treated them equitably.”
Equality among sons is one of the components of the Islamic education. Fathers should never distinguish between brothers. Fathers who address charity and benevolence at certain sons exclusively, or give the heritage exclusively to the sons and neglect the daughters, are definitely out of the circle of Islam. Such procedures arouse hostility and hatred among the brothers and cause retardation in their educational entity, and mental disorder and slowdown in the social relations. It is proven that the sons that are deprived of paternal affection and benevolence are stroke by psychological complexities, social antagonism, and severe conduct. Fabrication, larceny, cruelty, evildoing, and assaulting deeds are the effects of the children that lack paternal affection.

“Children’s paternal hatred stops against the social conditioning. It cancels the feelings of security and self-confidence. Modern psychological surveys have confirmed that the most critical causes of disquietude are the nullity of the family emotional warmth, feelings of others’ negligence, deprivation of love, kindness, and affection, and feelings of weakness in the aggressive world. Secondly, inequality among brothers arises the feelings of disquietude in the children’s minds, and kills the spirits of keenness that help in pushing the way easily and tranquilly. Disordered men feel of depression and mental torment everywhere.”
Fathers should treat their sons equally, lest the sons will be affected by such serious ailments that smash the mental entities.

3. Cordiality:
Fathers must cover their family members, especially spouses, with cordiality, affection, and benevolence, and meet their needs entirely. God has instituted this as one of the wives’ rights. It also contributes in the children’s prudent education and personal contentment that live in aspects that are filled with love, affection, peace, and settlement. Islam has urged on caring for wives. The Prophet (s) said, “The best of you are the best to their wife. I am the best to my wives.” He also said, “Wives are the husbands’ delight. Almighty God favors those who deal with their delight in the best way.” Imam al-Baqir (a) says, “May God’s mercy be upon those who enjoy good relations with their wives. Allah the Exalted gave men the wives in possession and made them their custodians.” Imam as-Sadiq (a) says, “Fear God while you deal with the two weak; women and slaves.”
Fathers ought not to displease or wrong their wives. The Prophet (s) says, “The best men of my nation are those who do not encroach or wrong their wives and those who treat them kindly.”
He then recited God’s saying:
Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others.
Fathers’ natures and manners to their family members leave the greatest influence on the children’s consonance in the society. The children’s personalities achieve prosperity only when their fathers’ treatments are well. Contrariwise, children’s behaviors and intellectual maturity are badly affected and ceased if fathers use rudeness.
4. Avoidance of Obscene Language:
Fathers, as paterfamiliases, are in charge of constituting the educational entity of their families. They should avoid obscene language, vulgarity, and any matter that injures the general manners. Chastity and homogeneity should find a considerable place in every house. It is obligatory upon fathers, whose words and deeds penetrate the hearts of their sons who are influenced by their manners and morals, to shield the family members from evil and obscene language. Children who notice their parents’ ill deeds can never have sound education and growth up. Similarly, children who notice their fathers say false things will never comply with their instructions of truth and sincerity. They pursue their fathers’ deeds and actions. On that account, fathers must apply the noble traits and manners to their lives to be good exemplars for their family members.
5. Supervising the Sons’ Behaviors:
In most cases of the ethical crimes that are committed by juveniles, the source is heeded to be the fathers’ negligence of superintending their sons and discounting the signals of aberrance they show. Naturally, children whose conscience and mind are imperfect cannot distinguish between good and evil. As children notice that no problem or reproach occurred owing to their doing a bad deed, they will certainly keep up doing it habitually.
Islam has urged fathers on associating and supervising the behaviors of their early children for saving them against the pollution of crimes that are arisen from aberrance. Nowadays, it is unfortunately noticeable that fathers disdain this condition on which the future of their children relies.
This terrible negligence led to the young’s deviation and moral degradation. Violence and irregularity have become the nature of most young men’s behaviors and morals.
One of the ugliest sorts of negligence and deviation from the sound educational courses is the unsupervised mixing of the two sexes of the same age in schools and universities. In most cases, such mixing may induce young women to lose chastity and avert the behavioral criteria of probity.
Fathers are liable -before God- for supervising their sons’ behavior and turning them aside from all of the evil tendencies. Al-Ghezali says, “Opting for certain methods of educating is one of the most significant and considerable tasks. A child is his father’s trust. His stainless heart is a precious gem that is clear from any image or picture. It is becoming to receive any image and follow any way. If a child is inured to good, this will stick to his mind, and the pleasure of this world and the Hereafter will be amassed for him. Parents, tutors, and trainers of children have a share in his rewards. Inversely, if a child is inured to evil, and neglected like animals, nonsuccess and loss will be the result. The guardian will undergo the sin of misguidance.
God the Exalted says:

O you who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones; over it are angels stern and strong, they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them, and do as they are commanded.
Fathers should save their children against the hell-fire and that of this world. Fathers’ salvation is educating, disciplining, and leading their children to the noble traits and keeping them against associating with the evil.
Fathers should avoid inuring their children to luxurious living, otherwise the sons will spend their lives looking for such things, and this will definitely cause damage. Fathers’ supervision should be initiated with the children’s early years. It is also essential for fathers to choose chaste and religious wet nurses and nursemaids. Women’s milk is unblessed unless it is produced from legal earnings. Children who are brought up on such illegitimate food will tend to evil and illegal matters.”
The previous opinion of Al-Ghazzali is, to great extent, exact. Modern educational surveys have accepted this opinion. Early supervision, encouragement on the noble traits, and the avoidance of the evil tendencies; all these are the matters that incite prosperity of this world and the Hereafter. In like fashion, negligence and non-supervision lead to nonsuccess and damage.
6. Disciplining:
Fathers should take initiative in disciplining their children as soon as they notice a behavioral irregularity or any offense that contradicts the religious and social traditions as well as the general manners. Precipitation in disciplining the wrong children is a sufficient means for removing evil and rebellious spirits. Islam has confirmed this matter. The Prophet (s) said, “Discipline your children.
This is better for you than a daily giving of a big sum of alms.” He also said, “If you honor and discipline your children aptly, God will forgive you.”
In most cases, irregularity that accompanies the children is the consequence of the fathers’ negligence and failure to discipline the children who deviate. Sheik Naraqi says, “Children that are neglected in the earliest stages of growth up will mostly opt for ill manners. They chiefly prefer fabrication, envy, and obstinacy, and become thieves, traitors, and impolite. In other cases, such children may be weakling, licentious, and profligate.”
7. Taking the children away from the sexual activities:
Islam has warned spouses against copulation near their children, since this may incite their lust and give them a motive to seek fields of harlotry and depravity. Imam al-Baqir (a) advised Jabir saying, “Avoid copulating in a place where a boy that is able to distinguish your doing, can see you.” Imam as-Sadiq says, “Men should never copulate with their ladies where there is a boy. This brings about fornication.” The Prophet (s) said, “I swear by the Prevailing of my soul, success will never approach boys who see or hear even the breath of the copulating spouses. Fornication is the result.”
Specialists in sexual education have affirmed the necessity of taking the children away from the sexual relations. Sir Pepsi says, “The sexual sense is existent to every human being including babies to whom this state begins to gush after maturity. So, it is very much important to avoid any activity arousing this state before its proper time.
Some fathers undervalue the necessity of preventing the children from noticing them when they strip their clothes. Such fathers go to extremes in this regard, as they think of being intellectuals or progressists who should give us the opportunity to see them naked. As children frequently notice such manners, they will soon be paying great interest to the sexual characteristics in their minds.”
Children’s minds are quickly affected by what they notice. On that account, it is essential to take them away from whatever stirs up the lusts and corrupts the moralities, for guarding them against aberrance and irregularity. As the western education paid no attention to this regard, their sons had to encounter mental damage, many sorts of sexual troubles, and moral downfall as well as the absence of social bonds.
8. Taking the children away from the ill-gotten food:
Fathers should provide legal-gotten foods to their children, and protect them against any food that the Lord has forbidden. The forbidden foods are the usurped, the real filthy things -such as pork-, the external filthy things -such as foods affected by external impurities-, and the like things that are detailed in the theses of the jurists. Fathers should exert all efforts for habituating their children to have legal food only since, as it has been proven through modern clinical surveys, the sources of nutrition leave a great influence on the behavior and maturity.
Islam is terribly sensitive to any matter that may delay the children’s growth and personal prosperity. Ill-gotten foods have internal aftereffects on the mental constituents. They may cause the hindrance of the behavioral activities in a way permitting the composition of evil tendencies, such as severity and extreme assaults. As Islam has cared for these aspects, it issued the obligation of keeping the children clear of the ill-gotten foods. It is related that as the Prophet (s) noticed that Imam al-Hassan -when was a child- put a fruit of date palms in the mouth, he disciplined, “Throw it out! Have you not known that we –the Prophet and his household- do not have from foods given as alms?”
After the calamitous incident of Kerbala, Imam al-Hussein’s harems were taken to Kufa as captives. As some people noticed that the accompanying children were starving, they gave them some fruits of date palm as alms. Ummu-Kulthoum, the Prophet’s granddaughter, reproached the children and informed that it was forbidden for the Prophet’s household to receive alms. Immediately, the children took the fruits out of their mouths.
As the Prophet’s household kept up this illuminative behavior in the educational fields, they produced those unprecedented and unparalleled young men and women who formed the greatest exemplars in veracity, chastity, and decency.
Mothers’ Responsibilities
Mothers are the headmost schools of structuring the children’s personalities, and supplying them with the noble traits. Polite and courteous mothers produce virtuous generation. Decadence and lewdness are the outcome of the generations that are brought up by impolite mothers.
On mothers’ shoulders lie great social liabilities. They are responsible for the nations’ future, honesty, and progress. They are the origin brick in the building of the educational entity. They also bear the most momentous aspects of the education of children since they are the builders of the bases of the children’s tendencies and moralities through guiding to virtues, ambitions, progression, action, and self-reliance.
It is very much difficult to change totally the matters that the children acquire before their eighth year of age. So, those matters influence greatly the society and peoples’ lives and maturity. It is so natural that a child --when brought up on ambition, progression, activity, and diligence- will positively add strong pillars to the nation for achieving the required deeds and structuring propitious civilization.
Mothers enjoy some motives for helping in the children’s custody and education:
1. Mothers are more tolerant than others are in the field of educating and keeping their children. This is because they enjoy natural instinctive motives. God has given deep love and affection to mothers exclusively so that they consider their children as their hearts and souls. Without this, children would not exist and live.
2. Mothers are more aware and conscious of their children’s morals and moods. They are also more enlightened with the soundest means of enjoining good and forbidding evil.
3. Naturally, children respond to their mothers according to the law of exigency. They exert all efforts for carrying out their mothers’ desires and obtaining their satisfactions.
Mothers’ duties:
Mothers, who desire to see their sons be their future pleasure and relic, should work hard for educating the sons and overseeing their behaviors by sticking in their minds the good biases and the noble idealities.
1. Mothers should endear and encourage on every good conduct by referring to the successful outcomes.
2. Mothers should warn their children against any criminal and evil way and custom, and should warn them against the behaviors of any party that is incongruent to the religious and social habits. They should refer to the consequences of such things that are injurious for families, societies, and the children themselves.
3. Mothers should choose chastity and morality as the courses of educating their daughters whom should be guided to the qualities of the female exemplars. They should be warned against recklessness and being affected by the fashions of those women who are unaware of their chastity and dignity.
Careful tutelage should be focused on daughters and their affairs so that they will not be polluted by the libertine conventions that, unfortunately, found their way to our Islamic societies, and invaded our people’s intellective and doctrinal lives. Daughters are usually more obedient -to their mothers- than sons.
They are always in need of their mothers. Hence, mothers should maintain, manage, and train them on housekeeping. They should also make them perceive the life’s liabilities so that they will fulfill their duties in the future and become the good mothers of other generations.
4. Mothers should not exceed in pampering their children in order to avoid the disadvantages that contribute in the retardation of education and the future unbecomingness.
5. Mothers should attract their sons’ attentions to the high standards of their fathers. They should insist on reverencing and respecting them. This will improve the fathers’ roles in disciplining the deviate and leading to the good behavior.
6. Mothers should never contend their husbands since this creates an aspect of mutual malice and hatred. Consequently, such matters may lead to the children’s disorder and anxiety as well as other mental complexes.
Islam has urged women on pleasing the husbands and neglecting any matter that may enrage them. The Prophet (s) is reported to say, “Allah will not accept any dissuasion, remuneration or good deed of the wives unless they satisfy their husbands.” “Wives, who mistreat and burden their husbands with arduous and unbearable things, will not be rewarded for their good deeds, and God will come upon in ire.” “Wives will not fulfill God’s rights before they fulfill their husbands’.
” Imam Abu Jafar says, “The deeds of wives, who address at their husbands that they did not see any good from them, will be come to nothing.”
Muslim wives are asked to satisfy, appease, and comply with their husbands in addition to avoid whatsoever may disturb them. This is the only way of saving good education for their children.
7. Mothers should inform the paterfamiliases of every aberrant deed they may notice on their sons’ behaviors. Fathers’ turn then is disciplining and guiding the sons to the correct path. Mothers should never cover up such deeds lest sons will have motives to keep up the incorrect manners. Mothers are also asked not to make objections to fathers’ disciplinary punishments lest sons’ rebel and corruption may increase.
8. Mothers should protect their sons from the streets that are full of seductive matters and motives of antisocial behaviors. Nowadays, streets are including, to excess, the aberrant ones and those who are morally affected and the source of children’s being polluted and dragged to junkyards of immoralities and serious offenses.
9. Mothers should deprive their sons of any cause or method that may injure chastity and purity, or collapse the morals and ethics, such as sexy books, novels and cinemas, nightclubs and the like. Such sources of seductive media draggle to the lowest levels of whoredom and insolence.
10. Mothers should conserve chastity and good behaviors. They should never display their charms and cast their screens. They should keep up the Islamic conducts so that they would be the good exemplars of their sons in fields of chastity and noble descent. Finally, they should elude any matter that may arouse the cravings and corrupt the moralities.
Honest matrimonial relation creates the precious emotions of the husband and incites him to believe perfectly that he should prefer his sons and wife to his own interests.
Dishonest relations, on the other hand, eradicate the husbands’ jealousy to their wives and smash any cerebral motive to bring up their sons honestly or care for saving good life for them. This grand disaster affects mankind. Moral corruption of the young is one of the consequences of that disaster. Sons who lack familiarity with affectionate fathers who care for them will most surely opt for immorality. Indeed, death of emotions leads to death of humanity.
Sons’ duties:
Islam has given a great attention to sons whom are required to respect and obey their fathers absolutely. Thus, impiety to parents is one of the grand sins for which God has threatened the hell-fire. God’s Book refers to the obligation of benefaction and obedience to parents in more than one position.
God has attached the obedience of parents to worship and compliance with Him. He says:
And your Lord has commanded that you shall serve any but Him, and goodness to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them so much as ‘Ugh’ nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word. And make yourself submissively gentle to them with compassion and say: O my Lord! Have compassion on them, as they brought me up when I was little.
Muslims should treat their parents according to this straight course that represents Islam’s genuineness and constancy in education and teachings. Muslims should also meet their parents with thorough travails of service and charity, and dedicate all of the deeds to the parents’ use until they are emotionally satisfied. Besides, the spirits of contentment and acceptance should be dispersed in the parents’ mentalities. Any single word of boredom or annoyance should not be said to the old parents who lack the ability of managing their affairs. In such cases, it is insistently imperative to serve and superintend them. It is quite obligatory to use leniency with them and supplicate to God for their good and meet them with the best forms of dignifying and honoring since these acts leads to God’s forgiveness. Reports of confirmations of the Prophet and the Imams on the commitment to benevolence and piety in treating parents are uninterruptedly existence in the reference books of hadith and history.
Imam As-Sadiq (a) narrated: “O God’s messenger!” a man addressed at the Prophet, “I have the desire to participate in jihad.” “Yes,” said the Prophet, “You should strive for God’s sake. If you are killed, you will be divinely alive and rewarded with earnings. If you die, God will be rewarding you. If you come back safe, your sins will be totally condoned as same as the day on which your mother had given birth of you.” “O God’s messenger!” said the man, “I have aged parents who claim they feel at ease with me and disagree to my departure.” “Then,” said the Prophet; “You are to settle with your parents. By the Prevailing of my soul I swear, one day’s ease you provide to your parents is more preferable to a year participation in jihad.”
Hence, we notice that sons’ piety to their parents is more rewardful than jihad, which is one of the portals of the Paradise.
Zakaria Bin Ibrahim said: I had been Christian before I converted to Islam, performed the ritual pilgrimage and came to Abu Abdillah (Imam as-Sadiq) and told of my conversion to Islam. “What have you noticed in Islam distinctively?” asked the Imam. I referred to God’s saying:
You had not known what is the Book or the believing. But, We made it a light by which We raise whom We desire.
The Imam raised his hands upwardly supplicating to God for my good and guidance. “My father and mother, who is sightless, are Christians,” said I, “I usually accompany them and eat from the same saucer.” “Do they have the pork?” asked the Imam. “Never,” I answered, “They do not even touch it.” The Imam instructed, “Never mind. You should be pious to your mother. If she dies, none other than you should make her funeral ceremonies. You should manage her affairs.”
As I was back hometown, I began to implement the Imam’s instructions of piety of my mother that she wondered the reason beyond my extraordinary supervision. “O son!” she pondered, “When you were on my religion, you did not do this to me. As you converted to Islam after your immigration, I noticed this fantastic piety to me, what is this?” “A man, who is one of our Prophet’s descendants, instructed me,” I answered.
“Is he a prophet?” asked she. “No,” I answered, “He is a prophet’s descendant.” “These are certainly the prophets’ instructions,” she expressed, “Your religion is really the best.” She then Islamized.
Islam is grounded on rewarding the well doers and piety to parents as much as possible.
Islam asserts on mothers’ piety specifically more than fathers’. This is because mothers’ rights upon sons are more abundant than fathers’ are. On the authority of Imam as-Sadiq, a man asked the Prophet which of his parents he should treat more benevolently. “Your mother is,” said the Prophet. “Who’s next?” asked the man. “Your mother is,” confirmed the Prophet. “Who’s next?” reasked the man.
“Your mother is,” said the Prophet. “Who’s next?” reasked the man. “Then comes your father,” worded the Prophet.
Sons are responsible -before Allah- for supervising and honoring their mothers by saving whatever they need. It may be a part of rewarding the burdens and difficulties that they stood and exerted in educating their sons. As a man was shouldering his mother to perform the ritual circumambulating of the precept of pilgrimage, he asked the Prophet whether he had fulfilled her duty. “No at all,” asserted the Prophet, “You have not met even a single sigh.”
The filial piety and obeying the parents -by serving them- are fundamental constituents of the Islamic education that aims at establishing social ties that should be based upon true amiability and association.
Reference: al-shia.org

Children’s Rights on Parents

Social commandments begin with the birth of a child; hence we begin with the Prophet’s [SAW] sayings regarding birth and duties of parents to the newborn child.

Saying of Adhan (in the ears of a new-born child):

The Prophet’s [SAW] Companion, Abu Rafey relates that: “I saw the Prophet [SAW] saying adhan and salaat in the ear of his grandson, Imam Hassan, when the child was born to his daughter, Hazrat Fatima (SA).”

Commentary: in the above hadith (tradition) only the saying of Adhan has been mentioned, but in another tradition reported by Imam Hussain, the Prophet [SAW] prescribed the saying of adhan in the right ear and Iqamah in the left ear of the new-born child, and also mentioned its auspiciousness. He said that on account of it, the child remained safe from infantile epilepsy.

As these traditions show, the primary claim of a child on his parents is that his ears, and through his ears, his head and heart are made aquatinted with the name of the Almighty God and His Oneness and with the ‘Call of Faith’ and Prayer. The best way to it, evidently is that adhan and iqamah are said in his ears, as these impart the knowledge of spirit and the fundamental practices of Islam in a most effect manner.
Tahneeq:

When a child was born in the family of the Companion, they would take it to the Prophet [SAW] so that he would bless it, and apply the pulp of a date, chewed by him, to its palate, which the companion believed would help to keep the child safe from evils and bring it good fortune. This is called ‘Tahneeq’ in Islamic terms. One of the Prophet’s wives Ayesha narrates that: “The people used to bring their new-born babies to the Prophet [SAW] and he would bless them and perform the ‘Tahneeq’.
Aqeeqah:

In almost all the communities of the world, the birth of a child is considered a blessing and some ceremony is held to celebrate the event. Besides being natural, it also serves a special purpose, and makes it known, in a suitable and dignified manner, that the father has accepted the child as his own and there is no doubt or suspicion in his mind concerning it. It shuts the door to many mischiefs that can arise in the future. The practice of aqeeqah was observed among the Arabs, even during the ‘Age of Ignorance’ for this very reason. The hair on the child’s head was shaved off and its weight equivalent was sacrificed as a mark of rejoicing - which was a characteristic feature of Millat-e-Ibrahim (the creed of Prophet Abraham). While preserving the practice in principle, the Prophet [SAW] gave appropriate instructions, and he set an example of how it was to be done. It is reported by Buraidah that: “During the Age of Ignorance, when a child was born to anyone of us, we used to slaughter a goat and smear the head of the child with its blood. Later, after the dawn of Islam, our practice became (on the advice of the Prophet [SAW] that we sacrifice a got of aqeeqah on the 7th day after the birth of a child, and shave the head of the infant, and apply saffron on it.”

Since, as we have seen, the aqeeqah served as a useful purpose in many ways, and was also in keeping with the spirit of Islam and, perhaps, like the rituals of Hajj, it was among the remaining practices of Prophet Abraham, our Prophet [SAW] preserved the reality of aqeeqah, but corrected the backward practices that had become associated with it.

The aqeeqah ceremony was also observed by the Jews, but they sacrificed an animal only in the case of a male child which was indicative of the lesser value placed on girls in the pre-Islamic times. The Prophet [SAW] corrected this too, and enjoined that the aqeeqah of girls should also be performed, like that of the boys. However, keeping in mind the natural difference between the two sexes, the Prophet [SAW] laid down that while one goat was to be sacrificed in the aqeeqah of a female child, two goats should be sacrificed in the aqeeqah of a male child provided that one’s financial position permitted it.

It is reported that the Prophet [SAW] said: “To whomsoever a child is born, and he wants to perform a sacrifice of aqeeqah on behalf of it, he should sacrifice two goats for a boy and one for a girl.”
Commentary:
As is evident in this tradition, aqeeqah is not obligatory, but it is among the mustahab or recommended acts, i.e., those acts which are recommended and rewardable but are not binding or compulsory. In the same way it is not necessary to sacrifice two goats for a male child. It is better to sacrifice two, if one can afford it, otherwise one is enough.

In some traditions, the giving away in charity of silver equal in weight to the child’s shaved hair, or its price in cash, is also mentioned, in addition to the sacrifice of the animal. This too is, recommended act and not compulsory.

The command to perform the aqeeqah on the day of the birth has not been given, perhaps for the reason that, at the time the family is occupied with the needs and comforts of the mother and the shaving of the hair (head) can also be harmful to the child. Generally, after a week, the mother gets well and does not need special attention and the baby, too, becomes strong enough to go through the shaving of the hair.

In some other traditions, it is said that the child should also be named on the 7th day, together with aqeeqah, but from a few other traditions it appears that the Prophet [SAW] had named children even on the day of their birth. There is, as such, no harm in naming the child before the 7th day, but if it has not been done, the child should be named on the 7th day together with the aqeeqah.

The aqeeqah ceremony, as we have seen consists of two acts: the shaving of the hair (head) and the sacrifice of the animal. There is a peculiar link between the two acts and these acts are among the religious practices of Prophet Abraham. In Hajj too, they go together where, the male pilgrims have their hair (head) shaved after the Adhiyah. Thus, aqeeqah also, is practical demonstration of our association with Prophet Abraham (AS) and of the fact that the child, too, is a member of the same community.
Tasmiya (Naming a Child):
That the child be given a good name is also an obligation of the parents. Abdullah ibn Abbas relates that the Prophet [SAW] said: “It is also a claim of the child on his father that he gives him a good name and teaches him good manners.

In another tradition, the Prophet [SAW] said: “On the Day of Resurrection, you will be called out by your name and the name of your father. The call will be; so and so, son of so-and-so, therefore, give good names.”

From these sayings and the practices of the Prophet [SAW], we get the guidance that it is the responsibility of the parents to give names to their children or have them named by a pious person.
Religious Upbringing:

All the Prophets, and, lastly Prophet Muhammad [SAW] have stressed that the brief earthly stay of a human being is an introduction to the everlasting life of eternity. It, therefore, follows that a greater attention is paid to the betterment of prospects in the life to come and attainment of happiness in the Hereafter, than to the affairs and interests of this life.

Thus, the Holy Prophet [SAW] has enjoined upon the parents to take care of the religious instruction of their children from the very beginning, otherwise, they will be called to account for negligence on the Day of Judgment.

It is related by Ibn Abbas that the Prophet [SAW] said: “Have your children utter, first of all, the Kalima of Laa-illaha-illa-Allah (i.e. let these be the first words that they speak), and emphasize upon them to utter the same Kalima at the time of their death.”

Commentary: The child begins to receive the impression of what it sees or hears from the time of its birth. The saying of adhan and iqamah in the ears of a newly-born infant, also, gives a clear indication of it. This tradition shows that when a child begins to speak, it should be taught to utter the Kalima, as a first step towards its education. It further tells that when the dying moment is near, a person should, again be urged to pronounce the same Kalima. Blessed indeed is the man who when he utters the first words, on coming into this world, it is the Kalima, and the same Kalima is on his lips when he departs.

The Prophet [SAW] said: “No father gives a better gift to his children than good manners and good character.”

It is related by Anas that the Prophet [SAW] said: “Show respect to your children and adorn them with good manners.” Showing of respect to one’s children denotes that they should be treated not as a burden, but a blessing and trusts of Allah, and brought up with care and affection.

In another tradition, the Prophet [SAW] said: “When your children attain the age of seven, insist upon them to offer salaat (Prayer) regularly, and when they are ten years old, punish them if they do not, and have separate beds for them (to sleep on).”

Commentary: Children generally, develop the faculty of understanding at the age of seven, and it is time that their feet were set on the path of worship of Allah. They should, therefore, be told to offer Prayer regularly when they attain that age. At ten, their powers of discretion and intelligence are fairly advanced and they begin to approach maturity. At that time, the observance of Prayer ought to be enjoined strictly upon them, and they should be taken to task, in an appropriate manner, if they fail to do so. They should further be required to sleep on separate beds and not together (which is permitted up to the age of ten).

All these, in brief, are the rights of children, both boys and girls, on their parents, and the parents will have to render a full account in respect of them on the ‘Day of Reckoning’.
Showing Kindness to Daughters:

Even now daughters are considered an unwanted burden in some societies and instead of rejoicing, an atmosphere of grief and disappointments is produced in the family at their birth. This is the position, today, but in the pre-Islamic times the daughters were positively considered a shame and disgrace among the Arabs, so much so that even the right to live was denied to them. Many a hard-hearted parent used to strangle his daughter to death, with his own hands, when she was born, or bury her alive. The Holy Qur’an says:

“When news is brought to one of them, of the birth of a female, his face darkens and he is filled with inward grief. He hides himself with shame, from the people, because of the bad news he has had. (Asking himself): ‘Shall he keep it in contempt or bury in the dust. Ah! What an evil choice they decide’.” (16:59)

Abdullah ibn Abbas reports that the Prophet [SAW] said: “Whoever becomes the father of a girl, he should neither hurt her nor treat her with contempt nor show preference over her to his sons in kindness and affection. Both boys and girls should be treated alike. Allah will grant him paradise in return for kind treatment towards the daughter.”

It is related by Anas that the Prophet [SAW] said: “The believer who bears the responsibility of two daughters and supports them till they attain puberty, he and I will be close to one another like this on the Day of Judgment.” Anas adds that the Prophet [SAW] showed, by joining the fingers of his (the fingers were close to one another), in the same way will the believer be close to him on the Day of Judgment.

Abu Saeed Khudri relates that the Prophet [SAW] said: “Whoever bears the responsibility of three daughters or sisters or even of two daughters or sisters, and bears it well, and looks after their training and welfare properly, and then, gets them married, Allah will reward him with Paradise.”

In the above Traditions, the Prophet [SAW] has not only stated that kind treatment was the natural right or claim of the daughters, but, also that the believers who fulfilled the obligation towards them in a good and proper manner would be rewarded with Paradise in the Hereafter. He further, gives the joyful tidings that such a man will be close to him, on the Day of Judgment, as the fingers of a hand are, when joined together.
Treating All the Children Equally:

The Prophet [SAW] has emphasized that parents should be just and fair to all the children, particularly in matters of gifts and kindness, and it must not be that while one gets more the other gets less or nothing. Besides, if discrimination is made among the children and one is favored more than the other, it will lead to ill-will and jealousy, and nothing but evil can arise from this. This child who is discriminated against will bear a grudge against the father, the painful consequences of which are easy to imagine.

Mo’man ibn Bashir narrates: “My father took me to the Prophet [SAW] and said to him: “I have given a slave to this son of mine.” The Prophet inquired, “Have you given the same to all of your sons?” “No,” my father replied. The Prophet, thereupon, said: “It is not correct. Take it back.”

In another version, the same narration, the Prophet asked, “Do you want all your children to be equally devoted to you?” “Yes, of course,” he replied. The Prophet said: “Then do not act like that (let it not be that you give some property to one child and exclude the others.)”

In yet another version it is added that the Prophet remarked: “I cannot be a witness to an act of injustice.”

In this version, it is enjoined upon parents not to discriminate among their children when it comes to given them something as a gift, etc. This has been condemned by the Prophet [SAW] as unjust and unfair. Some of the learned people have gone to the extent of calling it haraam, but the majority of them hold the view that though it is not haraam, it is makrooh, and highly undesirable.

It must, however, be emphasized that the command applied only to a situation where the preferential treatment is based on a consideration that is not lawful or justifiable in the eye of the Shariah otherwise no blame will be attached to it. For example, if a child is physically handicapped and cannot earn his livelihood like his brothers, a special favor to him will not be incorrect, but to an extent it will be essential and worthy of Divine reward, Similarly, should any child dedicate himself to the cause of imaan or public welfare and have no time to look after his economic needs, it would also be correct and deserving of reward, to make a reasonable allowance for him over the other children.

There is no harm if preference is shown to one of the children with the consent of others (i.e., brother and sisters).

In a version, the Prophet [SAW] says: “Treat all your children equally in regard to free gifts. If I were to show preference in this matter, I would show it to daughters. (If equality was not necessary and binding, I would have declared that more be given to daughters than to sons.)”

It can be concluded from this version that though, after the death of the parents, the shares of daughters in ancestral property is half of the sons, in their lifetime, the share of both the sons and the daughters is equal. Therefore, what ever the parents give to the sons, in their lifetime, should also be given to the daughters.
Responsibility of Marriage
It is the duty of parents to arrange the marriage of their children when they come of age. The Prophet [SAW] has stressed that it should be taken seriously and with a full sense of responsibility. Abu Saeed Khudri and Abdullah ibn Abbas narrated that the Prophet [SAW] said: “Whoever is blessed by the Creator with children should give them good names, a good training, teach them good manners, and arrange for their marriage when they attain the age of puberty. If he does not pay due heed to it and fails to get them married, on reaching marriageable age (due to negligence) and they take no ways that are forbidden, the father will be held responsible for it.”

Commentary: In this version the marriage of the children, too, on their attaining the marriageable age, has been made a responsibility of the father. But alas we are growing increasingly indifferent to it mainly because we have made marriage a most tiresome and expensive affair by following and adopting the customs of others.

If we follow the good example of the Prophet [SAW] and begin to perform marriages as he had performed his own marriage; or the marriages of his daughters, the whole ceremony will be as easy and simple, as it is for a Muslim to observe and fulfill the Friday Prayers. Blessings will then flow from it - of which we have deprived ourselves, through thoughtless imitations of un-Islamic societies.
Cleanliness and Hygiene in the Family Structure:
For God loveth those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean. [Holy Quran Baqara 2:222]

Once the marriage takes place and the young couple start their mutual life with love and affection, they must attend to basic issues in life, and seriously avoid any indifference or sluggishness in this regard.
One of these basic issues is cleanliness and hygiene in all aspects of life.

We must pay close attention to the cleanliness and hygiene of our body, hair, mouth and teeth, clothing, the floor covering, living accommodations especially kitchen appliances and dishes and whatever is related to everyday life. Some young couples only suffice to eating, drinking and apparent leisure and ignore cleanliness and hygiene early in their mutual life. There is no sign of orderliness, discipline or cleanliness in their life. Not only is this ignorance not acceptable by our healthy nature, our mind or our divine religion, but it is also seriously despised. This may also become dominant in life through the passage of time, and may threaten the health of the family, both physically and mentally. It may also have grave consequences on the children, and turn them into indifferent, dumb, ill, weak, oppressive and burdensome individuals. They may get used to various sins and corruption.

God the Benevolent Has announced His love and affection for those who attend to hygiene and their cleanliness and keep their bodies and souls free of all impurities.

For God loveth those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean. [Holy Quran Baqara 2:222] Islam is manifested through the Holy Quran, the sayings of the noble Prophet (S.A.W.) and his household, that are the Immaculate Imams.
The rules of hygiene of this divine school exceed five thousand. They are partly presented in volumes one and two of Vasa'il al-Shiia. They are superior to all rules of hygiene and are extremely wonderful in that they are delicate and encouraging ones to abide by. Nearly fifteen agents have been introduced as cleansing agents in Islam. This is not observed in any other existing school of thought. Islam has forbidden polluting; being polluted or causing pollution in may respects. The one who pollutes is considered a wrong-doer and deserves divine retribution on the Day of Judgment. Either of the following can be used to clean in different situations: flowing water; well-water; spring water; rain water; stale water in a volume each of its sides being nearly three and a half feet; a small amount of water being poured on a filthy object sufficient to cleanse it; dust covered earth; direct sun-light; fire; change of state or form from one to another.

In several important traditions, the Prophet (S.A.W.) has stressed on the value of purity and cleanliness in such a way that it seems to be one of the surprising Islamic issues to any intellectual.

Cleanliness is half of faith. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.5, p.558] The first thing that is considered in the Hereafter is cleanliness. [Ibid] The Prophet (S.A.W.) was extremely sensitive to the issue of oral and dental hygiene, cleaning hair and face, clothes and furniture, lanes and streets and even the dead. He was also superior to all in following hygienic rules and cleanliness. He ordered the dead to be washed with lotus and camphor water.

Also he ordered that camphor be placed on the forehead where we prostrate to worship God. Also he ordered the grave to be dug deeper and to be careful in placing a stone above the head and a little bit distant from it, and to throw dust over the dead body in an orderly fashion. Thus the body, the camphor and the dust will disintegrate and combine together in such a way as to maintain the health of citizens.
These decrees are amazing ones and show the greatness of that noble Prophet's knowledge and wisdom.

The Immaculate Imam Ali's (A.S.) knowledge and wisdom are manifestations of God's knowledge and wisdom. The Prophet (S.A.W.) was so pure and clean that Imam Ali (A.S.) introduced him as the cleanest and the purest and asked all the people of the world to use the Prophet (S.A.W.) as a model for cleanliness and purity of body and soul.

Follow the example of your Prophet who is the cleanest and purest creature in existence. In fact, he is a model for anyone who wishes to follow him in all issues related to living. [Nahj ul-Balaghah, Sermon 160]
The Prophet (S.A.W.) said: In fact God is pure, He likes the pure. He is clean, He likes the clean. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.10, p.92] See how important cleaning is that there is a mention of it in God's presence.
The Commander of the Faithful(A.S.) said: Wash yourselves free of any bad, disturbing odors with water, and be responsible for yourself.
In fact, God the Almighty is angry with those who are so filthy that others do not like their company. [Ibid]

The Prophet (S.A.W.) said: Clean your body, God will clean you.

In fact there is no one who spends the night clean, and is not accompanied by an angel. And no hour of the night is passed without the angel saying: O' God, please forgive your servant since he spent the night while being clean. [Ibid]

The Prophet (S.A.W.) said: The human body is filthy. [Ibid]

He also said: Filthy people perish. [Ibid]

Jaber, the son of Abdullah Ansari has been narrated as saying: The Prophet (S.A.W.) saw a man with badly disheveled hair. He asked him: Did he not find anything to comb his hair with? He saw another person with filthy clothes. He shouted: Did he not find any water to wash his clothes? [Ibid]

Hazrat Baqir(A.S.) said: Sweeping your houses will eliminate poverty. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.10, p.93] The sixth Imam(A.S.) said: Washing the dishes and sweeping your courtyards will increase your daily bread. [Ibid]
The Commander of the Faithful(A.S.) said: Do not collect the trash outside your house since it is a source of evil. [Ibid] It is wonderful that the divine viewpoint of the Prophet (S.A.W.) and the Imams informed the people about microbes centuries before their discovery.

The Prophet (S.A.W.) said: Do not leave the unusable food leftovers at home overnight, and take them out of the house in broad daylight. In fact, these unusable leftovers are a source of evil. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.10, p.95]
He also said: Attend to cleaning with all your strength, since God the Almighty has established Islam on cleanliness. No one shall enter Heaven, but the clean. [Ibid]
Imam Reza(A.S.) said: Cleanliness is one of the attributes of divine Prophets. [Ibid] The Prophet (S.A.W.) told Ayesheh: Wash these two robes. Are you not aware that our clothes worship God as long as they are clean and will stop doing so once they become dirty? [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.10, p.94] Considering the verses of the Quran regarding cleanliness and cleansing agents, and God's love of cleanliness and purity, and many traditions in this regard, it is the duty of the members of the family to clean their body and clothes, the furniture and the house as much as they can. As the Quran has recommended mutual cooperation based on kindness and piety, the man should help his wife in cleaning. Women are morally bound to clean the house, the furniture and clothes to please their husbands and God. This will also guarantee the family's health and will defeat pain, illness, distress and suffering. Housewives should remember that working at home to provide for the family's comfort is a form of worship and it certainly has divine reward.
Oral and Dental Hygiene
Oral and dental hygiene are of the most important issues to be considered. Professionals say that the health of many parts of our body especially our sensitive digestive system depends on oral and dental hygiene. The teeth that God Has granted us are very important blessings, and are really important in maintaining our health. We chew food with them. If done properly, chewing will guarantee proper and natural functioning of our digestive system, which will in turn help maintain our health. Bad smell from the mouth is very annoying. This bad odor is usually a result of lack of attention to oral and dental hygiene and food left in between the teeth and under the gum. "Pyorrhea" is the name of a dangerous disease which destroys the teeth and the gum and is the source of many other diseases including heart disease. This disease is a result of unattentiveness to oral and dental hygiene. If after every meal you spend a few minutes to wash your mouth and brush your beautiful teeth and wash your mouth with some salt water, you will not only help the health of your mouth and throat, but will also save a lot of money preventing dental decay and future dental work. Then you can use your teeth for many years, even up until death. Although Islam first appeared in a desert-like area among illiterate people, it presented some important decrees regarding oral and dental hygiene. This shows how majestic and important this school is. It also proves that the Prophet of Islam (S.A.W.) who brought this religion to guide the people was appointed by God. It also shows that the twelve Immaculate Imams were chosen by God. Consider a part of the recommendations of our religious leaders regarding oral and dental hygiene.
The Prophet (S.A.W.) said: If it was not a burden on my nation, I would have decreed that they should brush their teeth before each prayer. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.4, p.596]
The sixth Imam(A.S.) said: Brushing the teeth and oral hygiene are of the attributes of divine Prophets. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.76, p.131]
Imam Baqir(A.S.) said: If the people only knew how beneficial a toothbrush is, they would take it to bed with them. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.4, p.597]
Imam Sadiq(A.S.) was asked: Are all the people human? He answered: Yes, except for those who do not brush their teeth. [Ibid]
The Prophet (S.A.W.) said: Gabriel recommended me to brush my teeth so much that I feared I would lose all my teeth if I do not brush. [Ibid]
In another statement he said: Gabriel continuously recommended me to brush my teeth, so much that I thought He wants to make brushing teeth obligatory. [Ibid]
Imam Sadiq(A.S.) said: There are twelve benefits in brushing your teeth: It is religious; it cleans your mouth; it improves your sight; it pleases God; it brightens your teeth; it prevents tooth decay; it strengthens your gum; it improves your appetite; it removes mucus from the digestive system; it improves your memory; it adds to the goods and it pleases the angels. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.76, p.129]
Professional doctors and specialists in the field of mouth and teeth today state that we must brush our teeth slowly from its width for a few minutes. There is a very important tradition from the Prophet (S.A.W.) which considering the time of his Prophethood is one of his scientific miracles. Brush your teeth vertically, and do not do it horizontally (brush the width of your teeth, not their length) [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.4, p.599]
The Prophet (S.A.W.) used to brush his teeth three times each night: once before going to bed, once when he got up to recite the Holy Quran and once before going to the mosque for the morning prayer. He used to brush with wood from Arak since Gabriel had instructed so. [Ibid]
Orderliness and Hygiene in Food

Our bodies’ amazing digestive system, our mouth and teeth, and our desire to eat food and drink are of the great favors of God bestowed upon us. There are many important decrees in the Holy Quran and sources of Islamic traditions that are issued regarding how to obtain food legitimately and how to use it to guarantee our physical and mental health. This will also result in the family’s and the society's health. It seems that some of these are religiously obligatory, some are morally obligatory, and some are strongly recommended. Disobeying those decrees which are religiously obligatory is forbidden and shall cause in retribution in the Hereafter. Disobeying those decrees which are strongly recommended will cause losses and harm to the body and its predisposition to ailment. Among the most important religiously obligatory decrees in the Holy Quran, we can mention obtaining clothing, food, and housing through legitimate means.
O' ye who believe! Eat of the good things that We have provided for you, and be grateful to God, if it is Him ye worship. [Holy Quran: Baqara 2:172]
O' ye people! Eat of what is on the Earth, lawful and good; And do not follow the footsteps of the Evil One, for he is to you an avowed enemy. [Holy Quran: Baqara 2:168]
Eat and drink: But waste not by excess, for God loveth not the wasters. [Holy Quran: A'raf 7:31]
The issues stressed here are to be clean; to have acquired goods legitimately and to avoid wastefulness. It is religiously obligatory to acquire clean food through legitimate means. It is religiously forbidden to waste. It is oppression to oneself and others and against God and certainly a cause for divine retribution to be careless about acquiring property by legitimate means; to eat of what has been forbidden or is dirty; or to be wasteful. It is necessary for the head of the household to become familiar with related Islamic teachings, and to transfer his knowledge to the house. In this way the house will be clean and the members of the family can grow up and develop to be a source of goodness for themselves and others.
The Harms of Overeating
The Commander of the Faithful (A.S.) said: Man's soul is spoiled by overeating and oversleeping and brings losses to him/her. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.1, p.117]
He also said: One who overeats is not healthy, and he/she has to pay a high price. [Ibid]
He also said: Overeating is due to abnormal appetite which is a form of disease. [Ibid]
The sixth Imam (A.S.) said: Nothing is more harmful for a believer's heart than overeating. Overeating results in cruelty and sexual arousal. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.1, pp.117-118]
God, the Almighty told the Israelites: Do not overeat. One who overeats will oversleep. One who oversleeps will pray less. And one who reduces his prayers is included among the ignorants. [Ibid]
The Prophet (S.A.W.) said: Abstain from overeating since it will spoil your body and cause illness and sluggishness in prayers. [Ibid]
He also said: Nothing is despised by God more than a full stomach. [Ibid]
Imam Musa, the son of Jafarþ(A.S.) said: If all people eat moderately, their bodies will be moderate. [Vasa'il, v.16, p.406]
Regarding the issue of eating and drinking, the Prophet (S.A.W.) said the following which is the key to health: Eat when you have an appetite, and stop eating while you still have an appetite to eat. Certainly overeating is very harmful for the digestive system, and is a great threat to our health. The best way to maintain health and vigor, and be thin and agile and live a long life is to eat only when you are hungry and to stop eating before you get full. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.1, p.123]
An Educational Story
It is narrated that one of the great commanders dispatched an expert physician to Madinah to treat the patients for free. The physician stayed in Medina for a while, but either no one or only a very few people came for a visit. He was really surprised and complained to the Prophet. The Prophet (S.A.W.) told him that this is the way in this town since I have asked the people to eat only when they are hungry, and to stop eating before they get full. The physician told the Prophet: You have in one decree summarized all the rules of medicine and health. That is why the people do not get sick easily here. Imam Ali(A.S.) has said the following regarding how to start a meal: Start your meal with some salt. If the people only knew of its benefits, they would have preferred it to established medications. [Vasa'il, v.16, p.520]
The Prophet (S.A.W.) has admonished not eating hot meals. He has said that God has put the blessings in meals that have cooled down a bit, and has ordered not to blow at the food to cool it down. [Vasa'il, v.16, p.518]
It has strictly been forbidden to eat food and ignore living creatures present. Najih said that he saw Imam Mujtaba(A.S.) eating food and a dog was near him. He would eat a bit and give the dog a bite. I asked him why he did not shoo away the dog. He answered that he was ashamed before God to eat while being watched by a living creature, and not pay any attention to it. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.1, p.125]
Yes, we must eat and feed, since this eating is necessary for our body, and feeding is a sign of morality and nobility; a means of helping the needy; a cause of God’s Mercy, favor, reward and forgiveness. Strictness in this issue to your wife and children, relatives and the people is unjust and is similar to partnership with Satan.
Imam Mujtaba(A.S.) has said that there are twelve things that each Muslim must know about food and eating: recognizing the blessings and their Provider; being content with our share of daily bread bestowed by God; starting our meals in the name of God; thanking God at the end of our meal; making ablutions before eating; sitting on the left-hand side; using three fingers; licking the fingers; eating what is nearby; eating in small bites; chewing well; and looking less at the people who are eating around the tablecloth. [Vasa'il, v.16, p.539]
Imam Reza(A.S.) has recommended us to eat a light meal at night since it helps your merits and also helps you to stay thin. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.62, p.324]
The Prophet (S.A.W.) said: Whoever spends more time praising and worshipping God and spends less time eating, drinking and sleeping is more eagerly welcomed by the divine angels. [Mizan al-Hikmat, v.1, p.116]
He also said: Be just to your body regarding eating, drinking and clothing. Such consideration is a part of Prophethood. [Ibid]
Hazrat Ali(A.S.) said: Eating light meals, and nobility are more lasting for our health. [Ibid]He also said: When God the Glorious wishes the well-being of His servant, He shall inspire him/her to talk less, to eat less and to sleep less. [Ibid]
Other important issues to be considered by the family and more importantly by the head of the family are to abstain from smoking cigarettes, using hubble-bubbles and narcotics. Smoking of any kind is religiously forbidden according to some Shiite jurisprudents, since it endangers our health and sometimes causes moral and social corruption.
Islam has also forbidden the joint use of personal things such as a comb, a towel or a tooth brush. It is hoped that these issues are considered by all the families, and especially by the heads of each family. This will aid in maintaining the physical and mental health of everyone. Since these are religious decrees, abiding by them is considered to be worshipping God and disobeying them is a sin and a cause of God's punishment and retribution.

Children: God’s Trust whether in Guidance or in Care
The child is the first brick in the society. If it is well placed, the whole building is straight no matter how high it raises and how great it becomes. He is the core of the coming generation; from it branches its organs and parts. As the building needs engineering and balancing; the core needs the soil and the suitable conditions .The child’s tendencies and capabilities need to be balanced: he needs the good soil when he grows up and has his talents crystallized; the sources of culture he receives, the civilization he adapts to, and his upbringing all need to be purified.

The child is a world in itself; he holds all the traits of life in its different phases: turmoil and tranquility, happiness and misery; intelligence and idleness, purity and malice, superiority and backwardness, faith and atheism, war and peace as well. The maintenance of reason and passion in upbringing and growth-the basis of man’s happiness- must begin in childhood, since it is the best stage for learning the good way of life. The child’s ability of acquisition and imitation, and his sense of adoption are intense, he can receive all his movements speech and actions with a accuracy incredible enough to be compared to the lens of a camera. While the child’s body grows, his soul should move towards superiority and completion too. As his body is being cared for, so must his feelings and spirits be. He must be reared on cleanliness, politeness, honesty, sympathy, responsibility and benevolence and many other virtuous qualities as well. In fact, it is extremely difficult to change the conduct of those who were not accustomed to the right educational conduct during their childhood.

The happiest people are those who were brought up on the basis of good education and manners since their childhood. For this reason, parents play an important role in making their children’s happiness- their responsibility towards them.

Imam Ali (p.) once said to his son al Hassan (p.)”A child’s heart is like an empty land; whatever you give it, it takes, that’s why I brought you up on politeness before your heart hardened and your mind got busy.” A child’s heart is white paper with neither a right nor a wrong idea; responsible fathers and mothers make good use of this fact to adorn their children’s hearts with virtuous traits and good manners. A child’s feelings and emotions appear before his mind, so, one can take advantage of his feelings before his mental capabilities. All around the world, children are sent to schools after the age of four or five, during which their mental talents bloom, while his feelings and senses become active a long time before. A child who does not comprehend the scientific matters and perceive them can, on the other hand, perceive emotional matters which influence him, such as sharpness, tenderness, leniency, sympathy, compassion, respect, and negligence. The development of feelings and senses is of: significant importance in the educational matters. In the first place, parents are the most responsible for performing this duty, Kindergartens can never replace the family and the mother in reviving all the hidden feelings of the child properly and guiding him to the right way. In this respect, it is worth saying that parents must take care of their children’s physical and spiritual proper nutrition, Due to this fact, the parents burden as responsibility is so heavy during the child’s early stage. In fact, disregarding safe and healthy nutrition of the body and the soul leads to uncontrollable consequences. The child’s development is completed in his early years; thus, his material and spiritual sides must be taken care of.

The shortage of spiritual or physical nutrition of the child’s lie leads to dangerous consequences; besides, a small fault may cause a big problem which continues to influence a child up till the end of his life.

So, Moslem parents have to consider the religious responsibility they have towards their children, knowing that their children are God’s charge in their hands. Parents who fulfill their religious duties in upbringing their children properly deserve God’s rewarding. On the other hands, those who don’t abide by their religious duty are betraying themselves, their children and the society they live in as well, and thus they deserve God’s severe punishment.

As a result, parent’s only role is not making an enormous wealth and inherit it to their children; wealth would load them to concoction and misery if they were nit brought up well.

The instinct of superiority and love of perfection are innate in man. The desire for progress and excellence are considered branches of self-love which reside in any man’s nature. The conscious guardians should make use of this psychological wealth, building the sound educational ways on this basis. Consequently, they will guide the child towards superiority and excellence. In this respect, a discourse for Al Imam Hassan (a.s..) was reported, «He called his children and his nephews and said to them, today you are children and tomorrow you’ll be the leaders of your people, so learn today and he who can’t memorize, let him write it down and keep it at his home». In this discourse we can see that Imam Hassan (a.s.)) had employed the children’s self love and their innate desire for development to urge and encourage them to learn without resorting to intimidation or threatening. He made them understand that acquiring knowledge now is the way that leads them to dignity and magnificence in the future.

The method used in the above discourse in regarded as one of the greatest methods in the field of raising children and education nowadays. By following this method, every family can encourage its children to acquire knowledge, pushing them from the beginning towards superiority and excellence. Later, children will become self-motivated for seeking knowledge ;they don’t need to be threatened.

In this sense, there is similarity between the atmosphere of the family and that of the Islamic government, where the social discipline is built on the principles of freedom and justice. Due to this fact, education in Islam is based on justice, freedom, and the development of the children’s desires for superiority and perfection.

Imam Ali (a.s.) said to his son Imam Hassan (a.s.) «Don’t be a slave for others, while Allah had created you and made you a free man». By this brief saying, the great father plants in his son the greatest wealth of personality, and makes him used to mental freedom. With respect to children’s education he (a.s.) said, «He who didn’t learn during childhood, would not advance when becoming an adult». The qualified teacher is the one who makes use of the child’s instinct for perfection and superiority, building most of his educational methods on this basis.

The family, where a child grows up, plays an important role in his education. It is considered as a school which develops his hidden talents and teaches him lessons in great human values.

Imam Ali (a.s.) was a perfect man, with an ideal personality . All the human qualities and virtuous manners appeared in this great man, who frankly boasted of the education he received in his childhood. He told us about the great spiritual wealth he had gotten during that stage of his honorable life.

He also boasted of his great teacher , the prophet of Islam (p.) when saying, «You knew about the close kinship from the Messenger (p..) and the special rank he had given me . He put me in, his lap, took me to his breast, and made me sleep in his bed, touching his body and smelling his hair. He (a.s.) proceeds saying, «Every day he used to teach me one of his manners, and he order me to abide by it».

All of Imam Ali’s (a.s.) mental and emotional tendencies were satisfied during his childhood in the Prophet’s tender lap. On one hand, the Prophet (p.) watered his emotions from the spring of his affection and sympathy; on the other hand, he gave him lessons in manners and ordered him to follow them.

The profound, wise educational methods, that the greatest prophet (p.) had followed in upbringing Imam Ali (a.s.) revived the latter’s all hidden talents and led him within a short time to the highest posts of perfection, so he adapted Islam at the age of ten with awareness and perception. Moreover, he spread its creed, following the Prophet’s way of life. Never in his life did he deviate from the right way.

The characteristic that makes the value of the family of big importance is reviving the child’s individual traits. Individuals do not only differ from each other in their physical appearance, but also in their spirits and psychologies. This difference is one of the features of the divine might.

[Why don’t you beg God with reverence; He created you different from each other] (The Hypocrites: 8).

The Messenger (p.) said, «people are metals like gold and silver». Due to this reason, some children are born with certain qualities that do not exist in other ordinary children. Some individuals, perhaps, have reason, perception, intelligence, wit, memory, acuteness, generosity, and self-control in an extraordinary way.

The child’s upbringing should be based on man’s natural perception and innate tendencies, methods built on this basis are sound, and they are the realistic way for man’s happiness.

Therefore, what is the most important basis of education:

In the course of sound education, the first thing a child must be taught is making him feel God’s existence, and make him believe in Him using an easily understandable approach.

The need for believing in God is inborn, and it exists inside every man’s nature-when the child’s perception system is ready & good observa
Reference: al-shia.org

Divine Virtues in the Family and Society

True Concept of Piety
The literal infinitive and root of the abstract Arabic noun TAQWA, which has the most beautiful and original meaning, is "WQY". WAQAYA means self-control, being fearful and protecting one's self from all divinely prohibited actions. Actually the word WAQAYA means the spirit, power and ability attained by the practice of giving up sinning, by practicing abstinence and by self-restraint against committing sins. keeping the soul's control over sin and forbidden pleasures.
Trying to be pious and acquire the spirit of self-control in the face of sin is the best step to be taken in life; and amongst all actions is the action most approved of. Trying to acquire piety is actually the practice of worshipping God: the worship which God has instructed humankind to perform. This kind of worship includes a program which will undoubtedly please God.5.
The philosophy behind physical, financial and moral worship is the cognition of piety by a true believer. Any type of worship, movement or action which does not result in piety is not to be considered worshipping at all.
A society is a combination of thousands of families and one family consists of one wife, one husband and a number of offspring. Actually the building blocks of the family and society are individuals. If each and every individual has developed the spirit of piety, we shall have healthy families and a superior society.
The family will be an environment in which internal peace and safety from the external world govern. In this type of family there is room enough for the individuals to fully develop. As a result we shall have a society in which all individuals are sources of benefit for each other and everyone is safe from others’ mischief and harm.
The pious people are loved by God and are divinely favored by the Prophets and religious leaders (the Imams): they are practically generous and productive beings. The pious ones are people of fine character and heavenly morality having angel-like faces, and lack evil spirits.
The individual's, the family's and the society's reputations depend on the existence of saintly piety, and no individual, family or society is more worthy to God than the pious one. The harm caused by wives, husbands, fathers, mothers, children and society's individuals to each other is the direct result of irreligiousness.
The terrible fear that people in families and societies have of each other is the bitter fruit of ungodliness. The ample damage done to the affairs of people's lives results from the lack of piety.Actually, it is a divine necessity for husbands and wives to be beautified with piety so as to have a healthy society. And it is also necessary that the parents pass on this beneficial, divine desire to their offspring. From the very beginning of training their children, parents must make sure to develop the basic environment for piety.
How praiseworthy it is to pay attention to the abundant benefits of the Quranic verses and religious traditions on piety; and then begin to evaluate their benefits! Look at the truth of the matter in this way: if all young women and men were God-fearing, and made arrangements of marriage with an angelic capital of piety, what wonderful families and societies would be established!
Piety and Its Praiseworthy Degrees

The enlightened ones and those who according to the Quran show insight and have made spiritual journeys mention three degrees of piety.
I - Outstanding Piety
II - Especial Piety
III - Ordinary Piety
In a very notable tradition Imam Sadiq (Pbuh) explained these three degrees in the following manner:

I - Outstanding PietyThe first degree of piety is being completely absorbed by Allah and consists of the individual abstaining from religiously lawful things and actions, much more the religiously doubtful things and actions.

II - Especial Piety (In Awe of Allah)The second degree of piety is "In Awe of Allah" meaning the individual abstains from all religiously doubtful things and actions, much more the prohibited ones.

III - Ordinary PietyThe third degree of piety results from fear of Hell's punishment and God's painful Wrath. This degree consists of abstaining from all sins and forbidden things and actions. [Mava'ez al-’Addadiyi, p.180].
Of course, the meaning of abstaining from religiously lawful things and actions expressed in Imam Sadiq's statement has the following meaning: those having this type of piety do not pursue many of the religiously lawful affairs since they feel they do not require them. And concerning the lawful necessities they require for subsistence, they observe the utmost frugality.
The power to be contented is practicable for everyone, and if anyone denies it, the excuse will not be accepted. Being contented with what is religiously lawful and limiting the materialistic affairs of life are moral actions and approved of programs providing the environment for the realization of angelic piety in all affairs.
Hajji Sabzevary and Moderation
In order to preach Islam I traveled to the town of Sabzevar (Iran) in 1983 where I inquired about whereabouts of the family of the Great Sage and Noble mystic Hajji Mulla-Hady Sabzevary. I was told that one of his great grandchildren lives in this town. He was wise, knowledgeable, knew philosophy and had interpreted the Quran twice for the people of the mosque of which he is the Imam.
I rushed to visit him and his appearance, morality, style of living and his encounters with others displayed a perspective of Hajji 's pure life. I asked him about his noble great-grandfather. He described amazing issues about his plans and life conditions and said that Hajji was respected by all scholarly, political personages. He said people would rush to him from far away places to benefit from his knowledge, but he lived in real moderation concerning his food, clothing and housing. Sometimes, observing cleanliness, he would wear his clothes for nearly ten years patching them when necessary as this is the practice of the Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh) and that of God's Saints.
Luxury-Loving and Wastefulness
According to Allah, these two acts are satanic and due to one's selfish and carnal desires. What prohibits man from abiding by God's limits for life? More specifically, if man were more content he would have an easier life, less stress and insecurity. Once man's physical needs can be met with a reasonable house, a normal vehicle and sufficient food and clothing, we should avoid keeping up with the Joneses.
We should get used to normal expenditures, and avoid extra expenditures and obtaining what is considered luxurious and fashionable. We should not use the West as a model for our life-style. They themselves are plagued with many errors. Industry and technology should not make us think that whatever they say and write is correct and that their lifestyle is in accordance with reality.
What is important in the Islamic religion is the well-being of the soul and body, the neighborhoods, towns, cities and regions. What is paid attention to in this culture considering material, spiritual and personal affairs, and social faith and ethics is for the good of man in this world and the Hereafter.
The pure Islamic culture and school for refining human beings scorns wastefulness, luxury-loving, making heavy expenditures, ornamenting the outward appearance of one's life without considering moderation and economizing on expenses.
This even applies to the matter of building a mosque being the Muslims' place of worship. Mosques must be adorned with the utmost spirituality inwardly, and be ornamented outwardly in the simplest way so that hearts may not be tempted and souls not be separated from Allah.
Provide yourself with simple clothing, however, observe the etiquette for wearing it. Attain your essential foodstuffs but observe the good manners of eating. One may buy an appropriate vehicle of transportation according to his/her social status but the driving regulations should not be ignored. Purchase a house for yourself, but not one which will enslave your soul.
All of the above are the results of piety, abstinence and paying attention to God. The Jewish and Christian lifestyles - considering housing and furnishings, transportation vehicles, clothing, foodstuffs and other luxuries - are entangled in wastefulness. The Christian churches and Jewish synagogues are adorned with gold, jewels and other ornaments as well as devices, instruments, statues, antiques, tableaux and couches costing millions of dollars. The lifestyles of the Jewish rabbis and Christian clergymen, even that of their leader the Pope is entangled in wastefulness and extravagant expenditures causing one's eyes to pop out. If the personal hat and clothing of the Pope were sold, millions of starving people could be saved from hunger.
Amassing great amounts of wealth, usury, great robberies even in broad daylight and a thousand other notoriously disgraceful plans are the deeds of God's enemies. God's friends must accustom themselves to God's consent and protect themselves from extravagant expenditures and wastefulness. All these facts are generated and maintained by piety.
A home decorated with piety and a pious couple could actually possess a divine treasure and heavenly capital. Their life is richly blessed with happiness, peace and friendliness as well as comfort, security, health, righteousness, justice, nobility, benevolence and truth. One's home and place of worship must be such that one can feel at peace and be secure; and it should be a place to get closer to God. In short, we must establish our lives based on piety and moderation - considering God and the Hereafter - so as to please God and obtain the good of the Hereafter.
Even today one can live on a meager income if one is pious and content. Of course, in case a problem should arise and the believer could not handle it on his low income, it is the duty of the believers to assist their brother immediately and save him from suffering any hardships.
Let's Invite Each Other to Piety
Considering that not all men and women can attain the first two degrees of piety being (1) outstanding and (2) especial piety, we should not invite the general public to these two stages of piety as these degrees of piety belong only to the Prophets, the Imams and God's especial Saints. However, it is feasible for all men and women to attain ordinary or the general type of piety; that is to abstain from the religiously forbidden ethical, carnal and financial affairs.
Therefore, it is everyone's duty to politely invite others to piety and to encourage each other to abstain from various forbidden acts, so that divine virtues may encompass man's life including individuals and families and thus the society can benefit from it.
It is divinely obligatory for all people in all ranks to attain piety, especially a husband and wife who should teach piety to their children.
The righteous say children are God-given responsibilities and their hearts, and souls are pure and void of any corruption like blank tableaux. This blank tableau can accept any design. If a child is taught good deeds, words and ethics at home and if he/she is guided to learn the truth, he/she will attain the prosperity of this world and the Hereafter. The parents who cause this to happen shall share in the reward as do the teachers who have participated in his/her training.
If, however, the parents be corrupted and ungodly drawing satanic designs on the child's heart, life and soul, then the child will become corrupted and be raised like an animal just following his lusts and carnal desires. The child will be spoiled and the responsibility will undoubtedly lie with his parents or teacher.
Save yourselves and your families from a Fire.[Holy Quran: Tahrim 66:6]
Why do parents usually protect their children from fire and prevent them from approaching danger? Should they not also protect their children from the flames of God's Wrath in the Hereafter resulting from lack of piety, evil acts, no morality, faith and good deeds. The practical approach to protect children from punishment in the Hereafter is for the parents to be pious and to teach them piety.
To train their children parents must be benevolent teachers, persuasive preachers and sympathetic inviters to good deeds. They must first ornament themselves with piety, faith and good deeds. Then they must train their children, teach them principles of morality and protect them from bad friends and wicked teachers.
They must try to raise the child in such a way that he/she does not become deeply fond of wealth, luxury and wastefulness as well as excessive ornaments. Thus, he/she would not turn into a wasteful, greedy, looting, lustful and stubborn individual in the future. If the society consists of ungodly individuals, it will be like a building constructed from low grade materials. It will collapse and living in it will become difficult for everyone.
There would be no need for prisons, police, courts and the extensive judicial system, if all homes were based on piety and couples were virtuous and taught their children piety. If so, large amounts of money spent on preventing robbery, corruption and looting would be saved and could be spent for the public's well-being.
Signs of the Pious
Using the Quranic verses and religious traditions, religious authorities consider the following to be signs of the pious:
a)Learning enough of the religious sciences necessary for his actions, morality, business deals and relations with family members and the society
b)Protecting his body's health by using hygienic measures and observing good etiquette while eating and drinking
c)Resorting to one's intellect in daily affairs and being honest in all aspects of life
d)Having modesty, not lying as well as maintaining good temper and not being wicked
e)Not being a hypocrite and hating extra material goods
f)Not being deceitful, making excuses or committing treason
g)Honoring the virtuous and the wise
h)Carrying out one's religious duties, including the obligatory and supererogatory acts.
i)Following divine scholars since they teach man what is forbidden and what is allowed in God's relogion, and only except man's progress
Imam Sadiq (Pbuh) stated the following concerning the fact that one must follow the divine scholars:
A sign of a liar is that he informs you of issues in the Heavens and the Earth, but when asked about the religiously lawful and forbidden, he has no answer to give. [Usul al-Kafi, v.2. p.340; Muhjat ul-Biyza, v.5, p.140]
Some other signs of the pious ones are:
1)Patience in the face of terrible events
2)Observing the Islamic customs and principles of morality in all affairs
3)Diligence in making supplications
4)Perseverance in intellectual affairs
The pious should have sincere intentions and be pure in soul. They should progress to the stage of knowledge of certainty, then to the stage of reality of certainty, and then to the truth of certainty.
A Pious Man and Wife
A pious man never uses any means, except the lawful ones, and never accepts any unlawfully made money, in order to earn his living.
Thus, he respects the rights of all with whom he deals, and no one is harmed by his activities outside the home. He does not get involved in what is religiously unlawful due to his piety and does not lose the treasure of purity of his soul and contentment. When a pious man has finished working and returns home, he leaves all his tiredness at the door-step and enters the house in a cheerful, delightful state. He smiles kindly at his wife and tells her to relax after working all day at cleaning, cooking and caring for the children. He praises her and faces her with kindness, paying respect to each one according to his/her position in the family.
Once in a while, a pious man reminds his family members about the religiously lawful and forbidden, virtue and vice, good and evil deeds and does not let them forget religious issues.
A pious man does not spend all his time outside of home, and does not limit his happiness and laughter just to his circle of friends. Also he does not excessively attend the mosque and religious ceremonies.
A pious man notes that Islam has instructed us to be moderate and consider economy in all aspects of life, even in worship. Islam has even prohibited us from usurping the rights of our wife and children under the pretext of visiting our friends or attending ceremonies. At this point, I must remind my respectable colleagues who are in charge of mosques and religious ceremonies to shorten the duration of religious programs. A congregation prayer and an hour of preaching should suffice, as this was the practice of the Prophet (Pbuh) and the Noble Imams. They raised great men and women in a short time and with brief sermons.
Worshipping in excess, especially in regards to the supererogatory acts, and drawing on and on the meetings, will bore the listeners.
Gradually this will cause a psychological complex in the listener concerning religious programs. The only result of this is the harm done to the mosque and religious clubs as well as to the people, especially those with a low tolerance. Anyway, a pious man will observe the proper etiquette in all aspects of life. In this way, he will help to establish a fine family and attract his family's kindness to himself.
The pious wife protects her chastity, innocence and purity and eagerly does the housework. She prepares the means for her husband's comfort and helps him to relax as he is tired from work outside the home. She cares for her children in the most honorable way and behaves with her husband and children within the limits of Islamic morality. She does not forget to worship God daily and makes the home the center of love, kindness, eagerness and delight.
The pious woman, by relying on the divine Islamic principles, follows her husband's orders. She avoids getting angry and encounters her husband's kinsmen with kindness and Islamic morality.
When her husband comes from his work, she is at the door to welcome him. When he leaves for work, she sees him off and requests him to bring home only the lawful goods. She says that she will be content with the lawful goods, even if they are meager, and will not accept the responsibility of unlawful goods.
Do not exceed the limits set by God to obtain unlawful wealth under the pretext of being married or having children and a lot of expenses.
The pious woman does not try to keep up with the Joneses causing her husband to be embarrassed because she wants the same things his kin have or hers does. Such a pious couple are approved of by God, are a source of goodness and a good example of divine human beings. In the shade of this couple, the kind of family which God likes, is created. In any case, the husband and wife take care of each other in all of life affairs based on the Islamic wisdom and laws, just as God's Saints did.
Exemplary Shopkeeper

My maternal grandfather told me that once he and his friends traveled from the Khansar region near Isfahan to visit the holy shrine of Imam Reza (Pbuh). This happened in the old days when people used to travel on quadrupeds.
He was in charge of shopping in Damghan city. Early in the morning, he entered a shop to buy some goods. Since he was a pilgrim, the shopkeeper invited him in and started serving him. At the same time someone entered the shop to purchase goods and intended to buy a lot.
The shopkeeper asked him to cross the street and purchase from the store opposite his shop, so the man left the store.
My grandfather said he got surprised and asked the shopkeeper the reason. He replied that earlier that morning he had seen the other shopkeeper in a sad mood. When questioned why he was so sad, he stated that he had a debt to be repaid on that day, but business was bad. The shopkeeper said he could not remain indifferent, so he sent his customer to shop from that poor man's store. Possibly in this way he could pay back his debt.
Believers should support each other. Everyone should support his/her friends. Especially, a husband should support his wife and a wife should support her husband so that their life is established on the basis of divine and humane principles yielding noble children.
spray scent in your house at the time of morning prayer by reading the Quran. Your heavenly recital of the Holy Quran will affect your wife and children, and they will become better acquainted with worship services and God willing the true message of the Quran and will become benevolent and pious.
The Lofty Goals behind Marriage in Islam
God doth wish to lighten your (difficulties). [Holy Quran: Nisaa 4:28]
An Honorable Household
If a young adult or an adult man or woman does not marry, it seems to be rather impossible to remain chaste and free of corruption. It is a difficult problem to find a young adult out of millions, not married, yet be chaste and sinless. If we find a youth who is truly chaste and not married, then we may say she/he is one of God's Saints. Avoiding commitment of sins, remaining immune from corruption, being safe from the outburst of the instincts, and not being married at the same time is something only the Prophet Joseph could do.
A house in which an unmarried man and a woman live is not safe from corruption. If the man has no wife and the woman no husband, and their sexual instincts are alive with the pressure of lust, then those two have various mental, family and social problems and live in corruption. Marriage is a natural and divine law.
It makes some problems easier to solve which are concerned with keeping the youth chaste and pious.
The establishment of a household in society must be founded on a healthy and peaceful basis. The couple live together by marrying and respecting each other's rights. Wherever a Muslim household is established it must be based on God's revelation and in the remembrance of Him day and night.
(Lit is such a Light) In houses, which God Hath permitted to be raised to honor; for the celebration, In them, of His name: in them is He glorified in the mornings and In the evenings, (again and again), [Holy Quran: Nur 24:36]
In such a house, with such attributes, one finds a household of believers in which worshipping God flourishes. God has ordered a marriage to take place there and the couple obeys all divine, humane laws. The Glorious Quran orders that marriage should take place so that a man and a woman's problems are solved through the realization of this tradition and they - being the future teachers of some children - will remain incorruptible.
A man and his wife establish a mutual life. Being in harmony with each other they make a home for God's remembrance. In such a house, the couple are real servants of God and their offspring are the fruits of virtue.
Their behavior and morality are signs of divine etiquette and the traditions of the Prophets. When a believing couple get married, they both feel responsible to follow the divine laws. They find each other to be a helper to the other. They are two loving friends, two intimate companions, two sources of faith and two pillars of love and kindness. Thus they protect life from difficulties. If a difficulty should arise, they solve it easily and confront it with the arms of patience and fortitude.
The Worst People
Living in seclusion and not having a companion leads to many difficulties. It causes depression, despondency, nervous disorders and all types of mental and physical disorders. Being alone causes one to enter the world of imagination and vain thoughts and succumb to mental and moral illnesses. The Prophet (Pbuh) said:
Most of the People of the Fire on the Day of Judgment are those who refused to marry and start a family."[Marriage in Islam, p.26]
Also the Prophet (Pbuh) said:
The worst of your dead ones are the celibates. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.100, pp.220-221]
In another tradition he mentioned:
The most ignoble of your dead ones are the celibates. [Ibid]
In a wise speech he said:
The most Satanic ones amongst you are the celibates. Celibacy is the brother of Satan.[Ibid]
In some heavenly words he said:
The best of my nation are the married ones and the worst are the celibates.[Ibid]
The Prophet (Pbuh) also said:
If the dead celibates return to this world, they will surely marry. [Marriage in Islam, p.27]
And in another tradition the Prophet (Pbuh) said:
God curses the man who refuses to take a wife. [Ibid]
Why does the Noble Prophet of Islam interpret the celibates to be dwellers of the Fire, ignoble ones, brothers of Satan, the wicked, the seditious, and the cursed? This is because those who do not marry are forced into corruption, sedition, sin and make problems for their society and the family. In all aspects of life, they cause a lot of trouble.
According to the Quranic verses and Prophetic traditions, marriage endows humans with nobleness and respectfulness. Marriage keeps man safe from wickedness and God's punishment. It protects him from falling into the clutches of Satan. Marriage protects man from becoming a source of vice and corruption and he will be safe from God’s Wrath. All of this results in his comfort, peace and safety, righteousness and piety making life easier. This is why in the Holy Quran the lawful, Islamic marriage has been pointed out.
God doth wish to lighten your (difficulties) [Holy Quran: Nisaa 4:28]
The Blooming of Talents
If a young man and woman marry based upon their nature and follow God's commandment and the divine Prophets' ways, undoubtedly the way for the blossoming of hidden talents will be opened up and the tree of life will bear excellent fruits. They will be saved from the peak of God’s Wrath, a seditious nature, the dangerous clutches of Satan and God's curse - all being the consequences of being celibate.
Marrying results in the following: peace of mind; an inner feeling of security; overcoming the problems of celibacy; arriving at a heavenly, angelic environment; the proper background for correct ways of thinking; and control of the outburst of the instincts and lust.
Many of the distinguished men of letters, Islamic scholars whose names have been recorded in the history of the world, have practically made progress of 100 years in only one night. In general, these individuals have attained lofty positions in science and knowledge in the shade of marriage which brings peace of mind.
Their names are on the tip of everyone's tongue due to their knowledge, piety, chastity, nobleness, service to others and servitude to God.
In the book entitled “Zendegany Ayatullah Boroojerdy”7, we read: " In 1935 at the age of twenty-two, he received a letter from his father asking him to return to Boroojerd. He thought that his father wanted to send him to Najaf - the largest Shiite seminary existed- to continue his education. However, upon his return and after visiting his father and other relatives contrary to his expectations, he observed that they had arranged for his marriage. However, he became sad.
In reply to his father who noticed his sadness and asked him about the reason for it, he answered that he had been studiously acquiring knowledge with peace of mind. But now he noted that marriage would hold him up.
So his father told him that if he followed his orders, there would be hope that God would grant him an opportunity to reach his lofty goals. His father told him to beware of not marrying, because it was probable he would not get anywhere no matter how studious he was. This removed all his doubts.
After marrying and staying there a while, he returned to Isfahan where he continued his studies and tutorials for another five years.
In Isfahan his loyal and well-matched spouse provided the means for his peace, progress, comfort and security, as she was a kind friend, a sympathetic assistant and a calm servant. He was so busy studying that sometimes he would study until dawn. He had stated several times he would attempt to memorize the Holy Quran when not busy at other tasks. And during this period in Isfahan he memorized Chapter 9 entitled Baraat (Immunity) which he remembered his whole life and continued to recite.
The late scholar Tabataba-ey, the author of the Holy Quran's interpretation named Al-Mizan acknowledges that part of his scientific and spiritual progress was due to his noble wife. Marriage is a source of peace and security and it provides a background for the development of talents and the realization of perfection.
Striving for the Well-Being of the Household and Home
In addition to positive worldly gains, marriage and maintaining a spouse and attending to the children have serious spiritual benefits. Working and striving to provide sustenance for the wife and children are considered to be a wonderful form of worship being equal to engaging in war in the way of God. The following has been narrated from the Immaculate Imams:
One who works really hard to provide for his family's sustenance from what is lawful is similar to one who fights in a war in the way of God. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.101, p.72]
It is very difficult to obey God's order instructing the mother to respect her children's rights, the wife to respect her husband's rights, or the husband to respect those of his family and provide for their spiritual needs. This too is considered to be worship and deserves the rewards of the Hereafter. Raising a good generation with children who are good-doers and excellent offspring is essential and satisfies God.
It is of utmost importance to keep the household safe from corruption and to provide the means for growth, education and development of the family. This is the best type of worship of God.
The Fourth Imam (Pbuh) has wisely stated:
Whoever provides the best means for the spiritual and material needs of his wife and children is closer than others to attaining God's gratitude.[Bihar al-Anwar, v.101, p.73]
Anyhow, the society is the product of the family. All people who serve a nation, whether it be the president, minister, or a Member of Parliament have their roots in the house and the family. The home and those who manage it are the main factors in their education and development. Home is like a piece of land which if separated from the truth will be like a salt desert with no flowers blossoming. And if connected to the truth, it is logical to expect flowers in bloom.
Man's success or failure is primarily originated from parent’s conduct. If they strive for their children's success, they have performed a major act of worship and will eternally benefit from marriage. If, however, they are the cause of their offspring's failure, they have not only benefited from the holy tree of marriage but they have practically prepared the means for their own loss. It is for this reason that the Prophet (Pbuh) stated the following in different Islamic traditions:
The roots of anyone's failure exist within their mother, and so does their blessed fortune. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.5, p.157.]
And as the great poet Kalim Kashany said: The only thing that comes out of the jug is what's inside it.
Now it is up to the parents to fill the hearts, the minds and the brains of their children with whatever they have.
Establish the Loftiest Goal for Marriage

One's goal for marriage should be spiritual, holy and pure. One must marry in order to obey God's order and the Prophets' manner and to provide for the prosperity of his/her spouse as well as divinely raising children.
Both men and women should prepare themselves for engaging in a great act of worship when they marry. They should consider God's approval of their union and they should realize that through their loin and uterus, they carry God's loan. They must know that the child is only God's trust which is the guest of the father's loin for a short time and then is the guest of the mother's uterus for nearly six to nine months. During this time, the child with no option absorbs his/her father's characteristics and traits through a God-given property. It has been narrated that the Prophet (Pbuh) would sometimes let pregnant women come and watch the wars against God's enemies.
They would witness the glorious scenes of the Holy War and sword-fighting in God's way, and hear the warriors shouting divine slogans.
All this was for the development of the fetus in the uterus through what he/she heard and saw, and thus a well-bred, brave, ambitious child hearing divine sounds in the womb would develop.
Have you not heard that God ordered forty days of fasting for the Prophet (Pbuh) before the formation of the existence of his daughter Fatimah (Pbuh) in his loin. Then he ate heavenly foods for the meal on the last night of fasting. The sperm was then transferred to the mother's womb.

Do not let your eyes be the judge for marriage. Do not let lust be the matchmaker for marriage. Do not let the goal for marriage be getting wealthy by either family. Do not let the goal of marriage be seeing a beautiful face or a deceiving look. It has been proven that if these are the goals for marriage, such marriages do not have a good ending and bear little or no fruit.
Let spirituality, God and worshipping Him, striving to respect your spouse's rights, raising good children and attaining God's pleasure be your goals in marriage so that it bears eternal fruits. Let lawful lust, consent and leisure be subject to these lofty and divine goals so that you can gain complete pleasure and rewards of the Hereafter, too. If two individuals are divinely joined, their marriage will last forever since divine marriage never ends in divorce. One who marries for God's sake, wholeheartedly respects his/her spouse's rights and does not impose the least harm upon the spouse.
It is a religiously lawful requirement to protect the spouse's honor in front of the children and their relatives. And it is divinely forbidden to belittle one's spouse. Muslim men and women must consider the marriage of the Commander of the Faithful (Imam Ali) and Hazrat Fatimah Zahrah (Pbuh) as their model. This lofty marriage, which was contracted for God's sake, was based on heavenly goals and resulted in immaculate and divine offspring. The following verses have been interpreted to refer to this marriage in Shiite traditions:
He combined the two seas between which there is a distance. They do not exceed each other's limits (mingle) and pearls and coral come from these two seas." [Holy Quran: Rahman 55:19-23]
What is meant by the two seas is the Commander of the Faithful and Hazrat Fatimah Zahrah being two seas of wisdom, patience, faith and insight. What is meant by distance is the Noble Prophet of Islam Muhammad (Pbuh); and what is meant by pearls and coral are their offspring the Imams Hassan and Husayn (Pbuh). [Nur al-Thaqalayn, v.5, p.191, tradition 19]
The family structure must be purely divine and Islamic so that it can attract and absorb God's benevolence. If undesirable and ungodly customs, Satanic conditions or that part of the culture of the Age of Ignorance which the Prophet (Pbuh) had ordered to be abolished be not avoided in marriage, then evil will appear in the marriage and this tree will bear sour fruits. The Prophet (Pbuh) ordered: Everything should be abolished from the Age of Ignorance except the Islamic traditions. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.77, ch.6, p.128, tradition 32.]
The Family Structure in the West
The family structure in Europe and America lacks any foundation or content and is a faulty structure. Following the example of the family structure in the West is incorrect and it paves the way to ruin one's life.
The Westerners do not have pure and holy goals in marriage. Lust and satisfaction of the instincts is the reason why they marry. Noble and pure men and women are few in number there, so that is why corruption is overwhelming in Europe and America.
Most men and many women in the West marry after periods of unlawful sexual relationships and usually put their offspring in day care centers. Then they take them from the nursery school void of paternal and maternal love and pure emotions and they let them join in any type of corruption. They send them to the schools so that they apparently learn good behavior and become familiar with a few words.
Then at the age of eighteen, they force them out of the home and leave them up to the environment and the society.
The ethics that they teach at home or school is how to be a gentleman, how to earn money and know about economics. They pay no attention to the inner facts and inner roots. Westerners are unable to raise human beings.

Is this not obvious from the fact that when they establish a society or a government, the society is a source of corruption and the government is the primary means of exploitation and colonization of the oppressed people on earth. The crimes committed by the graduates from Western schools and universities cannot be compensated for until the Day of Judgment.
If they are polite and calm for a while, it is because they have not yet found anything to capture. Their story is like that of the man who told his friend about his polite cat which held a lit candle and guided guests to their seats at a table full of delicious foods. The friend said one cannot trust the cat's politeness.
He added that he is ready to prove it. When in practice, the cat was seen with a candle light guiding the guests and not greedy for the food on the table, the friend took a mouse out of his pocket and freed it in the middle of the table. The cat dropped the candle and jumped on the table on a wild mouse chase destroying all the food and ruining the party. The policy of the Westerners is similar to that of the cat.
As long as they do not see their desired food, they are calm and polite. But once they see the oil, gold or other mines of the weaker nations, they drop the torch of politeness and jump like voracious animals to devour all material and spiritual goods and start a blood bath for material gain.
The abundance of corruption, unlawful lust, murder and looting, prostitution and other evil deeds in the West is a direct result of the loose family structure there. If the houses in Europe or in the United States were filled with knowledge and God's remembrance and worship, then their products would have been noble humans with heavenly principles of morality. But since these homes are void of truth and God, their fruits are sour, stinking or tasteless. One cannot use such a system as a model, and those who do so will become even worse than the Westerners.
Reference: al-shia.org