Sister Buthaynia

Written by Sister Buthaynia
My name is Buthaynia, and I have been a Muslim now for five years. I was once a Christian. When I say Christian I mean I was one of those who had a ministry which I would go to the women's prision once a month. I also taught a Sunday school class and I used to be in the choir, and secretary in a women's group. Ok getting the picture now?

Well, I had many Muslims friends and every time they would talk to me about Islam I would get more interested each time. And I saw that they loved Prophet Jesus (pbuh) more than the Christians did.
It had gotten to the point where each time I would go to church I began to lose interest in it. It had gotten tot he point where on Sunday's I would make up an excuse to my friends who I ride with for not going. And I also saw just how empty hearted the Christians were.
I had even got to the point to where I would ask the ministers and elders at the church "How could Jesus be God and how can he be three people", well guess what? They couldn't answer my question and I also noticed that these people were supposed to be people who loved God, but were very prejudice against other races. I mean in there Bible doesn't it say that God so loved the world? I guess they never saw that part.
Five years ago I met a very special person in my life who is my husband. I would always ask him to please teach me about Islam, and Alhamduallah he did. He gave me a book about a Muslim student and a minister who were debating.
The more I read the book the more I noticed how eloquent the Muslim student spoke and I saw just how the supposedly minister who was suppose to have knowledge was always contradicting himself. So can you guess who kept my interest? Yes the Islamic student.
After I read it that is when I decided that I wanted to become a Muslim, I said the shahada which is:
There is only one God and Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is his Messenger.

I have been a Shia Muslim now for five years, and I am so happy that Allah (God) opened my eyes. I was blind but All praise to Allah he lifted the veil from my eyes. Now I have been concentrating on helping people to open their eyes and help lead them to the right path. And now I admin a room called Shia The Right Path Of Islam, and all Praise to Allah there are great brothers and sisters there who also admin to help lead others to the right path.
So, now you are reading this and if you are not a Muslim, I pray that you will also get the veil lifted from your eyes.
Thank you so much for reading my story and May Allah Guide You All.
By Sister Buthaynia.

www.shiarightpath.com

Sister Fattoum

Written by Sister Fattoum
Then in 1990, in Montreal, I enrolled my son to the Muslim School. This was the first time I had encountered with shia Muslims. One day, this Iraqi lady told me while we were waiting to pick up our kids: "Komeini is good!". To hear from her, whose country had a long war with Iran, made me think; because, all I have heard about Sayed Khomeini, rahmatullALLAHu aleyhi, was having picked up up sunni Muslims with excavators and drop them to the ground! -estaghfiruLLAH!

Second instance was again with an Iraqi lady who invited me her home, and at the time of prayer gave me a turba to pray on, and saying that there were more merits if our fore head touched it while sajdah. Strange enough, I was quite convinced with her explanations; although, it was the first time I have heard them! I knew that she was watching me while I was praying. I didn't mind, as if I felt a superiority from her over me!

I should say, this overwhelming experience of discovering their strong faith made me approach to them even more! Nevertheless, had I not frequented their huseiniyya, I would not have admitted that I had become a shia. So it happened one day: while I was there, another Iraqi lady asked me if I was a shia. I have answered that I didn't know, and I added that I loved the "Ehl ul Bayt". She then answered: " SO YOU ARE A SHIA!" I was happily surprised, and I have smiled at her that I have been convinced.

Then I have started my research: I have read a lot of books, I have asked a lot of questions. I was teaching my son as well. One day he said that all his friends were suniis. I said to him that I have proved that to follow Imam Ali a.s. was the order of our Prophet (s.a.a.w), and I knew that, my son had become a shia at that moment. MashaAllah, he was nine years old then. ElhamduliLLAH. May Allah Swt guard us all in the right path. Amin!

P.S. My all sunni friends were worried, and they were trying to save (!) us .:).. they were saying that shias don't like Aisha, Abu Baqr... etc. Who is the incomparable Ehl ul Bayt, and who are those c............s ? <<<< I couldn't careless :)
fattoum/paltalk
The 5th of January, 2003,
Ottawa, Ontario Canada

www.shiarightpath.com

Sister Vickey

Written by Sister Vickey
It was almost a year ago I said, "Ash-Hadu Anla Elaha Illa-Allah Wa Ash-Hadu Anna Mohammadan Rasul-Allah", (There is no God worhty of worship but Allah and Mohammed is His messenger.) the words that forever changed my life. The time from me learning about Islam and becoming a Salafi, to the time of me finding the REAL Islam, the REAL Ahluls Sunnah, the path of the Shi'ite Ahlul Bayt was marked with great confusion, but also great learning, as well as growth.

I was born January 20, 1988 into a poor urban family. My father was an illegal immigrant from El Salvador and my mother was three times divorced with three other children. My father was abusive to my mother, so when I was two years old my mother moved from Texas to Missouri. That was the last time I saw my dad. Perhaps this why I felt a void in my life or maybe it was my childhood.
I didn't have a real childhood, although, it could have been worse. I had to grow up fast. We struggled and struggled which I believe made me humble inside. When I was about seven years old, I would ride the church bus to Sunday school. People were sort of nice to me, gaveme candy and little token-gifts for coming to church. Soon, my mother started going to church and my sister also.
My mother never liked to stay in one place too long so when I was almost 11 years old we moved back to Texas. Almost immediately my sister's father grew ill. After about a month, he couldn't even walk. We knew there was something more to his illness then what the doctors at the local clinic had said. We took him to a hospital and he was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors said he had 6 months to 2 years to live. He died in 6 months.
After his death, my sister started to question God, her beliefs, her religion. I did also. She was struggling with her beliefs and it in part took a toll on me as well.
We found out my sister was pregnant a couple weeks after her father died. She stayed with my mother and her boyfriend in their apartment. I stayed at the second apartment (really my mothers, where my sister, her father, and I lived) alone. However, my mom was there everyday. Now, I am sure you think that is absurd. But mentally, I advanced well before I should have.
It was summer time, and everyday I would wake up and go to the pool, hang out with the older teenagers, and live careless. I stayed out late at night, had coed sleepovers with out my mother knowing, started smoking, drinking, and began practicing Wicca (witchcraft/Paganism) with a "friend".
Before school started my mother moved back into her apartment full time. I remained careless and disrespectful. I had joined a gang "Latin Queens" . I was absent from school constantly. I had been in several fights and was reassigned to an alternative school for about two months. I was on probation and even had to do community service for the crimes I committed.
I finally knew I was going about life the wrong way. I was living like an animal, partying, being lustful, and listening to no one. I couldn't think of anything else to do, but pull away from everyone, at least till I figured out something certain in life. As a result of leaving the gang I couldn't go outside without fear so I had to stay indoors all the time. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't talk to anyone. I was all alone.
Finally, we moved a few hours away from where we lived to the suburbs and I had a chance to start over. Life was looking good. I was in advanced classes making wonderful grades, but for some reason I wasn't happy. I was insecure about everything. I felt like cattle just doing what I had to do. I was depressed all the time.
In the middle of the first semester I started dating a certain person. The relationship got emotional abusive. I felt like I had to have him, that I wasn't worthy of anyone else, and I did everything he said. I thought who else would love me? Who else would even bother with me?
My depression got worse and I started cutting my wrists. I wanted the pain and the hurt to leave me. I wasn't trying to kill myself. I was too afraid to go to hell or some place bad. I was tense and upset all the time. I cried nearly everyday , yelled at anyone who spoke to me, I hated life. I thought life was a waste!
My mother finally got sick of me, and sent me to Missouri for three months. After lots of fights and arguments with my mothers friend I was staying with, I started going to church again. I poured myself into studying Christianity. Normally the more you study the more you understand, but the more I read the more abstruse the religion became. The denominations were founded by simple people who wanted to add and change the religion from the true text. The doctrines seemed in accurate with what the Bible actually said. Every version and ruling in Christianity was different. How could I know what was right? How could this be right with all this confusion? I went to the library and read everything I could possibly find on the denominations in Christianity. Baptist, Mormon, Jehovah Witness, Non-Denominational, Greek Orthodox, Catholicism, Methodist, Pentecostal, Presbyterian...etc . I wanted to find the truth, but I couldn't do so in Christianity.
Eventually I stopped caring about religion all together. Logic and politics became my focus. I loved watching debates, reading about politics, and what not. As I started to study the Middle Eastern conflicts , I became more and more curious about the Arabic culture. Now, I had known a few Muslim people, but only one person I talked to on the internet decided to tell me about it in depth, even after I told him I wasn't interested in religion. He was a wahabi (salafi). He gave me a website to go to listen to lectures. I listened to "Why you should be a Muslim." "What's the purpose of life?" among others.
I thought about what the man told me and how much it made sense. (The basics of Islam that all schools of thoughts follow such as the real story of ISSA (JESUS) Peace Be Upon Him) Constantly, I was reading articles online. I submitted my name, address, and telephone number Islamicity in order to receive a free translation of the Quran and other Islamic literature.
Everyday I was learning something new, and everyday I started understanding the true purpose of life. We are to serve Allah, our creator. We are to fully submit ourselves to Him and purify ourselves so that we will be ready for the next life. I started to feel ashamed of the life I was living and had lived before. I was scared, shy and nervous about talking to anyone, but then one day.....
On January 24th, 2002, I received a call from a man who was volunteering for Islamicity. I was cooking at the time, but I let it burn. I wanted to hear what this man was saying. I wanted what I then thought was TRUTH! My heart had been crying silent tears from the beginning.
After hours of conversation, he asked me if I was ready to make Shahada (two testaments of faith). I made my Shahada. Yes, over the phone, before (via speaker phone) 7 brothers and sisters. First he told me what I was about to say in English, " There is no god apart from The God , and Muhammad is the Messenger of God." Then he told me to repeat after him in Arabic. At first I was nervous to say it in front of them, but as the words came out my mouth, "Ash-Hadu Anla Elaha Illa-Allah Wa Ash-Hadu Anna Mohammadan Rasul-Allah." I felt peace. I felt at ease and for the first time, I felt real love.
What lead me to say my Shahada was not the stories of the sahaba or the stories of the Ahlul Bayt (Peace and Blessings upon them), but rather the Miracles of the Qur'an. The beauty of the Holy Qur'an. It wasn't until later that I learned about the Sahaba and the Ahlul Bayt (Peace and Blessings upon them).
Now that I became a 'Muslim', I tired hard to do what I was told. The Salafi rulings are very much extreme and things I was told seemed harsh but I tried my best to do them. Things about a woman's voice being awrah, niqab fardh, a woman being unable to even wear her hair in a high ponytail in the privacy of her own home, extreme segregation, among others. Every salafi was telling me do this, you cant do this. This is haram (forbidden) or this was biddah (innovation). So slowly I backed away and stopped trying to learn more. I felt like I was a failure and I couldn't do anything.
Before I had even become Muslim, I did however, meet one Shia man. I had some curiosity as to why the things I did he said I didn't have to do or were innovation, so I asked the wahabi shiekhs and they told me all sorts of things, all far from the truth. Lies like the Shia worship Ali (as), Shia think Ali (AS) should have been the Rasul instead of Mohammed (SAW), the Angel Jibrael (Gabriel) had made a mistake, that they believed the Qur'an wasn't perfect and even that they had another Qur'an. I thought this was absurd!!! Crazy! I became a Muslim because of the Qur'ans perfection! Little did I know.
After awhile from my 'break' of Islam, I started to feel the way I felt before and I started to slip into my old disgusting self again. For awhile I didn't practice Islam like I was taught. I just sort of went with the flow of what I wanted to do. Then finally after lots of hurt and what not, I got in touch with the people I took my Shahada with in order to get some more materials and so I could gain knowledge. I started to study more and more and I started to wear hijab fulltime during late September.
During my conversations with Salafi ladies online, I was told to download PalTalk (a messenger service similar to Yahoo). I did and I talked to several people online. I began sitting in during online classes as well. During my time in the rooms I met a sister from the Ahlus Sunnah wa jamal of the Hanafi school of though. She would take me to private chat and talk to me. Many of things she said were down right contradictions to what I was taught. Then one day she started to talk to me about the wahabi. I rememberd once I had asked a 'friend' of mine what a wahahbi was and she told me the called Salafis wahabis. And she 'explained' to me why they did such. She said we are Salafi and Ahlus Sunnah. So I told they lady from Paltalk, what are you talking about? I am Salafi. I'm not kafir. I believe in Allah and His Messengers and the Angels and the Day of Judgement, etc. Then we had a long conversation and she directed me to many AICP sites for me to read and learn from. How could I possibly have thought such ways of Allah as to compare Him to His creation like the wahabi? How could I say that He has hands, "but not like our hands"? How could I say that Allah was above His throne? ASTAGAFURALLAH!! I decided then to seek more knowledge on the different sects of Islam and different schools of thoughts.
I didn't know exactly how to go about searching, but I decided while I was on PalTalk to go the room Shia The Right Path. While there, I just listened to them. Heard different arguments and listened to debates. I asked questions and got answers. The manners of the Shia were above all the other Muslims I have met. I started to truly realize everything I was being taught was wrong. What I was practicing was not Islam. Islam is following the Ahlul Bayt (Peace be upon them). I was directed to Shia websites where I could read more. I read A Shi'ite Encyclopedia and Then I Was Guided. I used my common sense and logic to figure it out. Who could be greater then the Prophet Mohammed's (Peace be upon him) family ? Who really knew the Sunnah of our beloved Rasul (Peace be upon him) more, His family or His companions? Who is the Household?
Finally, I had insight to the real Islam. The Islam that makes you happy and content. I feel now greater then I ever have before. The more I study and the more I learn, the more I am thankful to Allah that I am a Shia. I am a Shi'ite of the Ahlul Bayt. I am a follower of the Prophet's Mohammed Sunnah, his REAL Sunnah.
Becoming a Muslim wasn't easy. I lost friends and family members became upset. I have had to deal with a lot of verbal abuse from people. The only way I stayed strong and am staying strong is through the duahs and help of my Muslim brothers and sisters.
People do not change over night. One must realize that when he becomes a Muslim it still takes time to change all your ways. It is how ever easier with the help of Allah. ALLAHU AKBAR! Allah is the Greatest!
www.shiarightpath.com

Sister ShiaRose

Written by Sister ShiaRose
I was around Muslims since I was a teenager, yet I wasn’t informed about Islam because all I seen was "Muslims" I had ignorance in my heart as I generalized about all the Muslims I wasn’t at that point in time willing to see the truth I guess one could say I was "deaf dumb and blind” I refused to see the truth and For many years as I played follow the leader with my friends I teased the Muslim women calling them oppressed and basically not in control of their own mind when in fact it was me that wasn’t thinking with my own mind I was following my friends.
Though I said all these things I felt compelled towards these modest women of which I secretly admired in my heart I would never admit these things out of fear that my friends would reject me. I was not a very good Christian for most of my youth but then as I was getting older I realized that I needed spirituality so I started attending church and became "born again" I was quite passionate about my church ,my new family at the church and my new personal relationship with God as I loved God with a passion I couldn’t explain .I went every Wednesday and Sunday to church and we had many activities between those times I was on a roll yet I hadn’t studied much into Christianity I just went on what the preacher said. I started dating a Muslim and I started to try to convince him of Christianity and was pleading with him to accept Jesus (Little that I knew he already accepted Jesus As I soon found out.)I started to have religious conversations with my boyfriend’s brother about the faiths which brought about doubts about my faith in Christianity. I tried to suppress these doubts by convincing myself that it was the devil leading me to such doubts, but the thought was there so I had to see for myself .So as any confused individual would do I went in search of truth (actually hoping to prove Islam wrong) it would have been a lot easier than admitting I was wrong. First of all I spoke with my pastor and he told me that Muslims deny Jesus as a messenger and as the son of God .He warned me that Muslims would claim to love Jesus so we (Christians) would open our heart and accept Muslims So they could in effect get the souls of the Christians (almost like a competition between Muslims and Christians) I later found out that the competition was purely from the Christians side. my pastor then told me that he himself had doubts before but he overcame those doubts thru love of Jesus Christ .which led me to the question that I think made him upset with me I said If he had doubts why did he not go seek the truth instead of having just blind faith, I also made the comment that if he was so sure in faith He would not be afraid of seeking further into it for if he seeked truth he would have been set free “the truth will set you free" If he was so confident then why not as a reconfirmation of faith confirm the truth yet he denied that simply saying thru the love of Jesus we will be saved and doubting the love of Jesus was a grave sin. Well My next step towards truth was going to the Mosque .I remember entering the mosque for the first time I wasn’t wearing Hijjab(veil) and the lady came over to me and handed me a hijjab So I put it on out of respect . The first thing I noticed was a wall hanging that said "In the name of Allah most gracious most merciful" I was taken back by that phrase as I stood there in a trance I thought about those words that had so much meaning to them My first thought was "most gracious what would God be gracious to mere sinners like us since we were born sinners why would we have such an honour" I then I concentrated with the words Most merciful wow a God that is automatically merciful forgives our sins because he is merciful "I was astonished at these words I mean this whole time I was searching for a personal relationship with Allah All mighty thru Christianity when in fact the relationship I could only dream of forming was thru Islam. See in Christianity I realized that your relationship with God is thru Jesus and well I am sorry but I believe that if we need an intercessor then the relationship is no longer "personal" i.e. becoming as personal as the relationship you have with your insurance company thru the mail carrier. As I was standing there a lady approached me and asked if I needed help I replied Can I purchase a Quran she replied no need to If you do me a favour I will give you a Quran I said of course So she then took Me in the bathroom (I was a bit hesitant) but I went anyway She went to the sink and washed her hands, face, arms head and feet each three times and she showed me how to do this and she explained it was purification For reading the Quran and praying. I thanked her As she handed me a Quran and a couple books One book teaching Salat and the other about Fatimah Al Zahra "Fatimah the gracious “we bid farewell as I went on my way .I read the Quran for all of that week As I was very intrigued with the stories in it and well to be honest before I was even through with Surah Albaqarah (the second book in the Quran) I was convinced of the truth in it .The following Friday I went back to the same mosque and said My Shahaddah.....LA ILLAHA ILLALLA MOHAMMEDUN RASOOLILAH ALLAH HU AKBAR ALLAH HU AKBAR ALLAH HU AKBAR
Alhamdillah!!!!!!!!!!

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In February of 2001 I purchased a computer and immediately learned How to chat. I went to yahoo rooms mainly and conversated with many brothers and sisters. I remember giving this sister a site about some miracles of Islam and she quickly got harsh with me. She said that is a SHIA SITE and SHIAS ARE KAFFERS. Well this astonished me because in fact I was Shia yet I did not know much about what Shia's believed. In fact I didn't know much about Sunni's either. My husband is Sunni but we never discussed religious matters so I decided to come on the net to learn more about what Sunni’s believed.

As I sat in chat rooms I defended my belief as a Shia yet my knowledge was very limited so I couldn't argue with people. I still remember being ashamed of myself when salafi's would win arguments due to my lack of knowledge. As I grew to know many of the Muslims I befriended many of them (salafi's mostly) and they started teaching me about what they considered True Islam to be. Many of them grew very tolerant to my questions knowing I hadn't equipped myself with enough knowledge of the Shia path.

As I learned more and more it seemed that Shias were wrong but I never verbalized it until one day I went to a store with a friend and the owner of the store was Iraqi who was Shia and became salafi. As I sat in his store I read many books pertaining to the salafeh saleh and it seemed rather logical still I didn't believe. So one day the owner asked me to stay at the store while he ran some errands and I said yes. As I was sitting in the store a brother came in who also was Shia and became salafi and we started to talk. He told me that Imam Khomeini (ra) stated that Ali is a physical form of Allah (astaghfirr Allah) and he informed me that he knew more about Shias then I would ever know. As we discussed more and more I became convinced of what he was saying. I thought to myself well why would he lie. He used to be Shia and now is salafi so obviously he had more knowledge than me. I did not question him further as I had submitted to his lies and decided that I wouldn't even ask for daleel(truth) since there was no place he could show me from. *i.e. in Khomeini’s books*.

As I started to become salafi I surrounded myself around more and more salafi sisters. I seen how they were and admired them for their strength and Eman. I was almost envious because they were so knowledgeable. I much like many new reverts expected that extremism had to be right. I thought because they were so extreme that they had to be right so I retook my shahaddah in front of some sisters in Ohio and proclaimed to the world that I was salafi. As time passed I started ridiculing Shias ever so much to the point of calling them kaffers and saying I couldn't eat their meat. I had Shia friends still but I always thought they were wrong so I stopped associating with them

. One day as I nestled down on my comfy chair I read Sahih Bukhari as I did every night to increase my knowledge and I came across the hadith that talked about the tragedy of Thursday. Just then I remembered reading the same hadith in a book called then I was Guided and remembered where I hid it so I got up to get it to read it more. I do admit though that I was looking to read it so I could have a better argument against the Shias. I sat down on my bed with My Quran on my lap, Then I was guided in my hands, and Bukhari sitting on the bed next to me so I could reference it. As I read this book I started doubting more and more what My beliefs were. I found the references in Bukhari and the Quran and wished I had Sahih Muslim to reference from that also but I was satisfied with Bukhari. As I read further and further into the book I threw it a few times in complete frustration.. I always went and picked it up so I could read it again. I didn't know what to do after reading that book and I just fell on my face weeping and crying to Allah for guidance.

I was so depressed because I didn't know how to please Allah. I asked Allah to send me a sign or to do something that would show me which path I should take and He did. It was rather weird also because it came via the internet. After I was finished praying I went to the internet to perhaps get some answers to some of Tijani's questions. My msn messenger popped up that I had a message so I went to read it. It was a sister looking for someone to accompany her to Washington Dc for the Rally for Palestine. Well of course I was truly happy because I called all the Masjids previously that day to find a seat on a bus so I could go but to no avail. I wrote the sister back saying I was willing to go and I would even help out with the finances for the trip. I eagerly awaited her reply. She wrote me back a couple hours later and said that she was about to go to sleep and just give up when she just had the feeling to check her email. She was surprised to see that I wrote her and she was quite happy to have me. So we connected on AOL messenger to talk more about it. She picked me up the next morning and we were off to Washington.

As we were in the car I told her about being salafi and how I was having doubts and just as she started telling me about the Ahlul Bayt I remembered that I asked Allah to guide me and show me a sign. I kept this inside as I listened to her speak about the Ahlul Bayt and the way of the Shia. I tried to tell her some of the things that I heard but she quickly refuted them. As we were traveling we got tired and decided to spend the night at a Hotel. I was so tired so this came as a blessing to me. I also needed to pray because it passed the time. As I stood in prayer with my arms crossed I was so nervous. What if she thought I was wrong What if she interrupted me during my prayer to correct me as many salafi's ladies have done? I couldn't even concentrate but I finished my prayer without a peep from her. After I was finished praying I felt the need to explain or rather excuse my methods of praying and she informed me that it was ok.

As we talked throughout the night she told me that she has PhD's in religion and she has studied religion allot. I was impressed and kept asking her questions. We didn't get much sleep that night because I had so many questions and she had the answers to them. I felt so fulfilled after I woke up that I rushed to pray before she woke up. As I stood in prayer I prayed like a Shia and felt so much Taqwa and Utter light upon my heart. The same light I felt when I became a Muslim in the first place.

On the way to Washington we visited some of her Husband’s friends in VA and they were so kind. I also asked them many questions trying to take advantage of every moment of my journey. We attended the Rally and it was a success and I was just so happy to have gone. On the way back I told her that I know that Allah has guided me back to the path of Shia Islam and I wanted to take my Shahaddah. So on the freeway I Stated ASHADU ANLA ILLAHA ILLALLA WA ASHADU ANA MOHAMMEDUN RASOOLILAH WA ASHADU ANLA ALIUN WALI ALLAH.. She started crying and I did also. When I returned and told my husband and friends of my discovery they all thought I was a joke. They said next I will be Buddhist.. But who's laughing now. I am and forever will be SHIA insh Allah. Alhamdoolilah.

Having your eyes covered by duct tape is never someone's choice,
Through arrogance the Shaitan will keep the tape on your eyes.
If you want to see you have to pull the tape back.
It may hurt but the beauty is worth it.
Try it; pull the tape back a little.
Tell me do you like what you see?
Do you want to see more?
It’s ok. It will hurt but the pain goes away.
Soon as the tape is off the beauty from Allah's light will overpowered the pain,
What are you waiting for?
By sister: ShiaRose
www.shiarightpath.com

Sister Tears_4_Zahraa

Written by Sister Tears_4_Zahraa
My name is Emina and I was born in a country that was known as Yugoslavia at the time. The communism had made people forget all about religion, and true Islam was nowhere to be found. People were adoring and praising this communist dictator who died before I was even born. I saw something wrong with this even at a tender age of six. I was six years old when I went to the masjid for the first time. Neither my mother or father told me to go , but they didn't prevent me from going either.

I still remember the my first day at the masjid, the sheikh was teaching children basics about islam. I came in and found a seat. I was really scared or maybe excited, I am not sure.When the sheikh approached me, and told me to repeat after him simple suras, I started to shake but obeyed him anyways. I came back to the class every weekend and felt good about it. I continued going all throughout elementary school and the beginning of high school untill I left my country. I am sad to say that in those nine years I only learned how to pray and read from the Holy Quran. Islamic history was NEVER mentioned, the companions were almost never mentioned and neither was Ahlul Bayt as. The only thing i knew about Fatima as was that she loved her father tremendously, that Ali as was the first youth to accept Islam and that Hassan as and Hussein as were two precious little boys who were loved very much by the Holy Prophet saws. At that time I wasn't aware that there is such thing as Sunni and Shia sects in Islam, but I loved being a Muslim and I loved all Muslims, that is until my mind was poisoned by a wahabi man.

I moved to Canada in 1996 and subhanAllah, in this Christian country I had found the true Islam. I was thrilled to see ladies with hijabs and wanted to wear one myself. I wanted to do everything that would bring me closer to Allah swt. I tried talking to my mother about hijab but she always hated the idea of me wearing one and still does. But that doesn't not concern me at all.

I had heard about sunni/shia issue from a wahabi man, who was our neighbour at the time. His wife was my friend and so I visited there often. Because of that i was often given tapes and lectures by him, which did a very good job at brainwashing me. I started disliking shia just because they were different from me, just because someone told me to dilsike them. I also started doing things that are too extreme to have anything to do with Islam, but I never knew the difference.

My family decided to move from Saskatchewan to Ontario. My life was about to change.............for the better. A friend introduced my family to a wonderful young man who's face was bright and who had the best manners. "He would make a great husband", I thought, "If he just wasn't shii." Short time after meeting this man, he proposed to me. Before answering him, I went to see a bosnian sheikh and asked his advice. "Is it allowed for me to marry a shia man?" -I asked. Sheikh's answer both surprised me and confused me: "Shia are our brothers." He said " And I wish all muslims were like shia!" As I was leaving I felt relief and knew that I was about to marry my husband.

Nevertheless, in my heart I still hoped that he would change and be sunni, just like I am. So we debated and debated...My husband mentioned issues like Fadaq and The Battle of Jamal. I was shocked !!! What was he talking about?! How can Abu Bakr, who is such a good companion deny the daughter of the Holy prophet saws her inheritance and make her so upset that she never spoke to him again untill she passed away??How can Ayesha, The mother of believers lead a battle against the Imam of her time, Imam Ali as?!
Wasn't there a fairy tale-type relationship between all companions??? Didn't Abu bakr and Omar love ahlul Bayt as??? Didn't Ahlul Bayt as Love them back???!!

"No, this couldn't be true, my husband isn't being honest with me" - I thought, untill I found what he was talking about, on a sunni site, from sunni books. It was all true. My heart was aching, I was so confused. I wanted to be on the same side with Ahlul Bayt as but at the same time I couldn't let go of Abu Bakr, Omar, Ayesha, and Othman. I went to see that bosnian Imam again hoping that he would help me... All he said was " All those companions are good people." "Is that it?"-I thought , greatly dissappointed.

SubhanAllah , one of the hardest things a person can do is admit that he or she is wrong. I decided to search for truth, and this time without hoping to prove shia wrong. I finally started reading the sermons of Imam Ali as . I was amazed at what he wrote and realized what a wonderful person he was and what a great worshipper as well!!! The sermon of Shiqshiqiyyah especially cought my attention: "Beware! By Allah the son of Abu Quhafah (Abu Bakr) dressed himself with it (the caliphate) and he certainly knew that my position in relation to it was the same as the position of the axis in relation to the hand-mill. The flood water flows down from me and the bird cannot fly upto me. I put a curtain against the caliphate and kept myself detached from it."

So there it was, all the proof I was looking for. I took Imam Ali's as word over Abu Bakr's anytime. After all, Imam Ali as wouldn't lie and Fatima as would never claim something that isn't hers. At that moment I knew I was free from my confusion, and that I finally know who's side I am on. Alhamdulillah for that.

I am still learning a great deal about "shiaizm" . I cannot thank enough all sisters and brothers from the Shia The Right Path room. The more I learn, the more certain I become that I chose the right path. After all, the Holy Prophet saws told us to follow the Holy Quran and Ahlul Bayt as. This hadith is viewed as authentic by both shia and sunnies.
Thanks for reading my story and may Allah swt bless you all.
ALLAHU AKBAR!!! ALLAHUMA SALLI ALA MUHAMMAD WA ALE MUHAMMAD!!!
www.shiarightpath.com

Sister Zahraa

Written by Sister Zahraa
I remember being a very young toddler and being in church. I remember being taught verses from the Bible, and knowing that it was the verses that I needed to remember, not the Bible as a whole. When I became conscious of my existence on this earth, I remember praying to God alone.
I prayed to God alone at all times until I was around 9 years old. When I was 9, I recall being told that God doesn't answer or even hear prayers that are not ended in the name of Jesus(as). For this reason, wanting to be correct in my supplications to God, I ended all prayers in the name of Jesus(as).
Never during my life as a Christian, did I view Jesus(as) as God Himself. Nor did I feel that he was equal to God. I changed churches several times because each denomination seemed a little different as far as the view of Jesus(as) went. Finally I settled into a Pentecostal church where my grandfather was a preacher. It was taught there that women are to be modest. I liked that. Even at a very young age, I felt that scantily clad women were women deprived of common decency. The Pentecostal church is of the thinking that women should wear long sleeves, and skirts, and never dress like a man; wearing pants and such. I did wear pants, but always wore shirts that went near the knee. This caused my mother to be very irritated with me as when I didn't wear long shirts over my pants, I'd tie a long sleeve shirt around my waist to cover my self from view. I recall crying when my mother bought me a dress to wear when I was 6 years old because when I sat down, my under clothes would show. I have always been modest in dress. There is a picture of me in that dress along with my brother. You can clearly see the tears in my eyes from having to wear that dress. My point here is that God, I feel, has created girls with a degree of shame and a desire to be modest until it is corrupted by society and popular fashions; making women and girls feel inadequate if they don't dress in a manner suggestive of sexual readiness, even at a young age.
I remember being afraid of the dark to the point of going to bed well before it would get dark. Because of this fear, and my reliance on God to help me, I would leave room beside me for angels. I recall during those nights where I would be terrified with nightmares and my fears of having them that I always, for some reason unknown to me even now, pleaded with God, alone, to protect me. It never entered my mind that anyone else had more power to help me.
When I was in the 4th grade, 11 yrs. old. I met a young Jewish girl. She never ate lunch at school and this made me quite curious about her beliefs. I spent many nights at her home and the talk of religion was open and it was made known that her house was a Jewish house. No pork would ever be served. I knew that Jesus(as) was a Jew, in all respects. He lived as a Jew, taught Jewish scripture, and came as a confirmation of verses in the Old Testament. I continued to eat pork, but my mind always felt ill at ease with it.
We soon moved from the school were I met my Jewish friend. We moved from a rural area to the city and I began school in the public schools in the city. I had at that time stopped going to church. My parents never forced my brother and I to go, so it wasn't an issue. The inner conflicts about religion had began at that time to make me quite confused and although not to the point of doubting the existence to God, but the confusion was such that when I would hear someone begin a prayer with, " Dear Jesus," I would feel as if I had totally missed out on something. Hearing things such as, " Jesus loves you, " would create such inner turmoil for me, that I began to think that I didn't believe what I was supposed to believe and was therefore different, even undeserving of that love. Singing the song " Jesus loves me," was in it's self a point of mental exhaustion as I recalled that Jesus(as) said that he done only as God willed and required him to do. Did this credit of love then not go to God who cared to effort into my salvation in the first place? Why didn't we sing "God loves me?" If God was All Powerful and Almighty, didn't that mean that at some eventual point all credit for anything would go to God?
Some time during this stage of questioning what I was being taught took me to my grandfather. He was the preacher and he knew what was right; in my mind, he was the one to ask. I asked him, " Grandpa, is God one or three, or one with 2 more slightly below Him. What exactly should I know about this subject in order to have the right belief?" He answered, " Honey, we don't question such things. These are things that we take on faith. God said that He sent his son as a means of saving us from our sins. God's son is part of God, therefore we refer to one and both are glorified. The Bible says that there are three that bear record, The Father, The Son, and The Holy Ghost. These three are one in spirit and so that means that they are one in total." My grandfather's answer only left me with a bigger thirst and more confusion as I remembered vividly the Jewish slogan " Hear Oh Israel, The Lord our God, The Lord is One." The Bible and all of the world calls the Jewish people God's chosen people, and they believe that God is one, alone in His authority and power. This was the only thing that remained a point of logic and ease of belief for me.
Within months of talking to my grandfather, I had to put everything about my belief in God to the side. The only person that I thought would know had only given me more confusion. In my mind it was me, I was the problem; maybe I was wicked and evil. Maybe God didn't love me as He loved everyone else because I sure didn't feel secure that I was going to be saved due to the fact that none of it made sense. I couldn't get to the step of just having faith in something and accepting it when it made no sensible connection in my mind. I only kept the belief that God existed, and the rest was undetermined or something to eventually learn and understand.
It was at this point in my life that I made most of my mistakes. Although I wouldn't change any of it, as it has made me who I am today, I can clearly see in hindsight that my ignorance wasn't a chosen type of ignorance. I had tried so hard to grasp something that I just couldn't see. I had asked about my doubts and asked about what was proper to believe only to find that nothing that was given to me satisfied my mind. Again, I was feeling as if there was something wrong with me, it had to be me, otherwise I wouldn't have felt so alone. Since I felt that I was evil because of my doubts, I began to do things against my taught belief system. What good did it do me to believe anything when it never made sense and I was evidently mad anyway?
Setting this next stage is necessary because I continue to feel that my mistakes are what has made me who I am today. Of course they were awful. Of course I am filled with regrets. However, if I had not made these mistakes then guidance would not have come to me. It wasn't the mistakes per se, but the growth of conscience that occurred as a result of them. At this stage in my life I had left the church. At the time, it seemed an awful thing to do, but today I know it was the best thing to do and I can elaborate on that a little later.
When we moved into town, we moved into an area that was mainly retired people. The only young adults were the ones that every mother warns you about. They were folks who drank heavily. They also done drugs on a daily basis. I was introduced to this lifestyle at the age of 13. In the summer after I turned 13, I had too much time and little guidance. Both of my parents worked so my whole day was unsupervised by any responsible adult. I had been a good girl and had always listened to my parents. My mother has always said that the only reason she had another child after I was born was because I was always obedient and good. My parents being gone all day at work and leaving me to take care of my brother was something that I had earned, I felt. My days consisted of cleaning the house for my mother, feeding my brother some lunch, and then going two houses down where the loud music was. I would always come back home in good time to get food starting to cook for my mother. Not long after this routine I began to be sucked into the life of these neighbors. I wanted to do what they done all day. They made it seem like so much fun. No responsibilities was the rule of each day. Accountability was never brought to mind. They had offered me beer and drugs and I drank and done drugs with them daily. It got to a point where I started sneaking out of my window at night on the weekends when they had parties.
The neighbor and his wife had separated and she moved to Indiana, back to her mother's house. For a few days after she had left, I stopped going. I then got a message that just because she was gone didn't mean that I wasn't welcome there. Of course I went. There were more men now. At this point I had only drank and done drugs, but having a drunk and drugged mind isn't good for a very young girl around a bunch of drunk men. I knew that everything I done was wrong, but it didn't seem to matter. Nothing made sense to me anyway. I justified things to my self in two ways; I was evil anyway because I didn't believe what I was taught, and secondly, God was forgiving and nothing I done really mattered. One night I was drunk, and high on drugs, and at 13, I became pregnant. This would break my parent's heart. The fear of seeing their faces in such utter disappointment lead to me running away from home one day during the fall of 1982. I left with the father of my baby who was 21. This was a time slumber for my good conscience. I had to put it to sleep otherwise guilt would incapacitate me. I was however a spoiled young girl. My parents gave me and trusted me in everything. I was accustomed to eating and getting new clothes when I wanted them. Both of my parents worked and money wasn't ever a concern for me. Leaving home was a battle within myself of sleeping and crying, being hungry, and feeling like I was the worst of God's creation. I had to steal clothes from clothes lines at night. I had to lie my way into people's homes. I had stopped drinking and doing drugs because I was pregnant, but my babies father continued to drink and do drugs. I began to see him in a different way and I would bring things up to him about morality. Since I wasn't drunk and my mind was sober, I disagreed with everything he did. He began to abuse me. He beat me and drug me by my hair up and down stairs. I began to wonder if this was what I had resigned myself to. Was this going to be how my life was always? For six weeks I was gone. During that six weeks I grew a bit. My parents were walking as zombies with no thought except that of my safety. Putting them through that is a huge regret. I went back home after that six weeks with a different vision in my life. I no longer thought that a life with no responsibilities was ideal. In that six weeks, my mind grew into that of an adult. I say that because much of my thought process is the same now. I was going to be a mother. I needed to grow-up and be an adult, even if my age reflected something different. As winter came and I reached the age of 14, I was mentally prepared to be a mother. I had broke any relationship with my baby's father after he physically and mentally abused me one last time that winter. After my daughter was born, I gave him a chance to be involved with her, but he wasn't interested in being a father or supporting a child and went his own way. My parents were there for me for support, both financially as well as emotionally. My first daughter will be 20 this year, and her natural father has still never cared to contact or support her.
I started school two weeks late due to recovering from childbirth at 14. I started in classes for students in special circumstances that only required me to be in school for 3 hours a day. Near the time of my 15th birthday in December, I started to feel as if I were taking and asking too much from my parents. They gave willingly and without complaint, but I felt like I was a huge financial burden on them. I wasn't even old enough to get a proper job. If I were to get a job, it would mean that I would need day care because both of my parents worked. I had resumed going to church for a short while only to find that nothing had changed really. It was important to me however, that my child learn to know about God early on.
I feel that it is important to include all of this because it all plays such a huge role in my acceptance to Islam. The summer after my 15th birthday I met my husband. Honestly, I had no idea about Islam, although I knew he was a Muslim. He never prayed or fasted, or practiced anything in the religion at that time. We married on my 16th birthday. My husband accepted my daughter as his own and she has only ever known him as Baba. The only thing he requested was that we not eat or bring pork in the house.This brought me again to my memories of my Jewish friend. I decided in the fall of 1985, just prior to marrying him, that I would no longer eat pork, nor feed it to my child or future children. I felt that certainly Jesus(as) didn't eat it, so there must be something to the rule. My conversion to Islam was surrounded by this law.
When I was 17, I started going to church again. We had a daughter together in February, a few months after my 17th birthday and it seems from looking at it now that each time after I would have a child I would be more and more pushed mentally to worship God in some way. The process of a a child growing within me, and celebrating the new born life felt like such a huge blessing to me. When I returned to church, the Easter meal was planned and I attended only to find that it was a meal of a baked ham. A huge disagreement started with me and some church members. I was offended and repulsed that someone would celebrate the newly risen Jesus with a meal that he, himself would never have touched. A meal that was totally representative of filth on an occasion supposedly representing a cleansing of sins. I got up and tried to convince the congregation that this was wrong. It had to be. Jesus(as) was a Jew, he would have never eaten this meat. Moreover he wouldn't have been in the company of those enjoying it in such a manner. Jesus(as) said that he didn't come to change the law, so why then is it changed in this church who follows him? My grandfather got up and opened the Bible and showed me a verse in the Bible that allegedly meant that all meat was cleansed. He then showed me a verse saying that it is not what goes into a persons mouth that makes them unclean, but what makes them unclean is what comes out and what resides in the heart. It didn't jive. I couldn't make sense of it. Regardless of what the other verses said, Jesus(as) still said that he didn't come to change the laws, but to confirm them. This was an inconsistency and I opted to follow what Jesus(as) said over the vision of some starving man on his roof hearing a voice telling him to go down and eat unclean food. Upon further investigation by myself, I found that the verse wherein Jesus(as) stated that it is not what goes into a man that makes him defiled was completely not about eating unclean meats, it was about following a law with no sense of anything except a habit with no thought of God and obedience to Him at all. I determined then, within myself, that the church had only hoped to deaden my conscience. They constantly encouraged me to feel as if I were forgiven, not to feel guilty about anything, and to be free and happy as God wanted me to be.
This next stage of my path towards Islam brought me to believing that I was a Jew. I was a Jew in my mind, but a Jew who accepted Jesus and his mission. I intended to follow the laws that Jesus followed; the laws that he taught as well. For 3 years I lived in this manner. I considered myself again as something different from anyone else. I had never believed that God literally had sons, or daughters for that matter. I never believed that Jesus(as) was part of God with the same authority. It was my ardent desire to emulate Jesus in my life in all respects. The question of the day was, " What Would Jesus Do?" I answered it daily with, " He wouldn't eat pork, he wouldn't praise himself, he wouldn't put up a tree on his birthday, he wouldn't do anything that praised anything or anyone other than God, The Creator of all. I dove into the Old Testament and found 637 laws or commandments that God gave the Jews. I grew bitter towards the church for not lifting these laws as they do the Ten Commandments. Why just ten when God gave so many more? Did God give these other laws in vain? Did God put Moses in a life of trials and difficulties from his very birth all for nothing? I started to see Christian beliefs as beliefs of convenience. If it suits them, they embrace it; if they don't like it and want that ham dinner on Easter, they cast aside what they don't like and teach one another to not feel guilty about it. After further investigation into Jewish laws, I came to the point of sacrificial rituals. These rituals were required of those Jews who committed sins unintentionally. In the Torah, God continually says that He places these sacrificial rituals as part of their lives so that they may learn gratitude and other things such as a conscience that guides them to continually try to do what is right and good. I began to study the definition of the word sacrifice in Biblical terms. It is basically a gesture wherein one gives up something that they love or value in order to show sincerity to God. A blood sacrifice is not always necessary and was rarely done for sins. When it was done however, it needed to be done correctly. Sometimes, if a person is poor, they need only give a bit of flour, or make a humble meal. The word "qorbanat" or sacrifice in Hebrew, means to make an offering to show sincerity of repentance. Most of the time, this would be for purposes of meat to eat. This was the only allowable way to eat meat; when it was/is sacrificed in a proper manner. This has nothing to do with forgiveness of sins. The best means to be forgiven according to the Torah is to pray for forgiveness and make gestures of obedience to God. any gesture of sacrifice, however, is not for sins done intentionally. Not like the church had taught me at all. These are the things that Jesus(as) taught and lived by. These things made sense to me.
After living for three years believing and thinking that if Jesus was a Jew, then I am too, I met the first practicing Muslims in my life. My father works for an oil company and the company had signed some contracts with Egypt. The company brought in some Egyptian men to train them in the supervisory level on how to instruct the assembly of submersible oil pumps. My father quickly called my husband and told him that there were some Arabs in our small town. He thought that this would please my husband because my husband was the only Arab around for a good 50 miles and he hadn't seen any Arabs or even spoken Arabic in several years. The response from my husband was unbridled enthusiasm. He was ecstatic, to say the least. The Egyptians were here for 3 months and during that time I saw what Islam in practice was. My husband had started to connect with his religion, although he didn't fully practice until I became a Muslim of that same year. The Egyptian brothers were excited to teach me about Islam. They thought that I was a Christian so they were making points of disagreement with Christian doctrine including the trinity which I never accepted anyway. I didn't really learn anything new except one thing; Muhammad was the final messenger of God.
At this point I was asking all kinds of questions to my husband. I found that he would never answer me enough to satisfy my curiosity though. I didn't find out until a few years later that my father had made an agreement with my husband before he would agree to our marriage. The agreement consisted of my husband never trying to change my religion. Never. My husband agreed with this stipulation in order to marry me and he didn't want to appear to be encouraging me to change my religion and disappoint my father. He didn't know that I was committed to finding out about Islam. He didn't know that I was searching to an extent that if I had to by-pass him, I would do it. I had to know who Muhammad was. The brothers from Egypt spoke of Muhammad being in the Bible. I was either going to find that they were right, or prove them wrong, somehow.
A few months had passed and my aunt (mother's sister) married one of the Egyptians who came to train with at my father's work place. Of course he had to go back to Egypt, but he kept in contact with her by phone and it was planned that he would return to the USA in one month. Everything went as planned and he was back in the states and he and my aunt had rented a house in Tulsa. Since they were an hour drive away, I didn't see them much. In September of 1990 I had another child. A baby girl. My aunt and her husband came to the hospital to see me. When she came in my room she had a scarf on her head, and another American woman was with her who also had a scarf on her head. I looked at my aunt and I asked her, " What are you wearing?" She answered, " I became a Muslim and so now I cover my hair." I was really shocked at her news. It was the first time I had ever seen a woman in hijab and although I was shocked initially, after I had studied the two of them closer, it was a thing to admire. I invited my aunt and her husband to our home while my husband and hers spoke in Arabic. I hated it when he done that because I couldn't understand a thing. I was constantly asking what he was saying.
When I came home from the hospital my aunt and her husband came for a visit. I was full of questions but felt a little shy to ask them. It seemed like every time I would ask my aunt something, her husband would answer. It annoyed me. Finally, I said, " Auntie, I am asking you, what made you change what you believe?" She answered, " Well, my husband began to explain what he believed and it made such perfect sense that I accepted it. It also makes him happy." I commented, "What exactly is it that you believe?" She answered, " That there is no god, other than God, Allah; and that Muhammad is the final messenger and prophet sent by God." I asked, "How do you know who Muhammad is?" "She said, "Well, I brought you these tapes, video cassettes, by a man named Ahmed Deedat. He completely explains in a better way than I can. The only thing is, is that he speaks with a heavy accent and I can't understand him very well." I asked her to go get the tapes and she brought them in, there were 3 of them. We put one in the VCR, it was titled Crucifixion or Crucifiction. I thought the title was catchy. We sat and watched it from beginning to end. It was a long process because I stopped the tape several times to write down references of what he was saying. My aunt said that I could keep the tapes until the next weekend. After they left I spent the rest of the evening copying the tapes. I must admit that it felt wicked to copy them, but I was so very driven to remember the tapes and what was said.

I spent the entire week watching the tapes and intensely caring for my new baby. She was placed on a heart and sleep apnea monitor because sometimes when she would sleep, she would briefly stop breathing. I was constantly worried for her and afraid that there may be a time that I would not wake up when the alarms sounded. I was watching those tapes and reading the Bible making sure that there were no misquotes, nothing taken out of context, and I found it all to be exactly as Ahmed Deedat had said. I was at a point in my life where I was thankful for the blessing of another child, I was thankful that she was with me, but I was afraid that she might not keep breathing and from my tiredness, I wouldn't be able to reach her to begin CPR. What stress that was I can never fully explain to anyone who hasn't experienced it. I remember vividly when she was 3 weeks old, I was downstairs with her feeding her and I was so terribly tired that the fear of not waking up and hearing the monitor alarms that I began to pray. I prayed so fervently and I wanted so much to know what God was hearing my prayer. In my exhaustion, carrying her about the living room, I walked towards the fireplace mantle. Sitting on the mantle I had a plaque of the Lord's Prayer. Instantly in my mind, the story in the Bible of how this prayer came about entered my mind. The followers/disciples and the multitudes came to hear Jesus(as) speaking on a mountain and he instructed them in supplication to God. Jesus said, when you pray (supplicate) do it in this manner: Our Father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, they will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil; for thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.
I looked at the prayer after I said it. Something was missing. What was it? I read it again, looking at every word instead of saying it from memory. I then saw what was missing. There was no "in Jesus' name" at the end. This was a prayer that was directly to God from Jesus as he instructed his followers to do. This prayer was specifically directed to God alone. This is how Jesus prayed, and how he instructed to pray. I stood there for what seemed a very long time thinking about the instruction of the prayer and the absence of what the church demands as far as acceptance and proper closure for prayer; it was not there. It simply was not there. Jesus said over and over as he was grieved, "Why do you call me master, and do not what I say?" My mind was going, my tears were flowing; my mouth opened and uttered the words, " There is no god but Allah, and Muhammad is His messenger."
My belief in Islam took me as a storm that was unexpected. I knew inside when I was reading those verses in the Bible that they were being repeated correctly. I feel now that I was hiding from submission for some reason beyond my conscious knowledge. But once I became conscious of it, there was no turning back. God was and is One; I had always, always felt that within myself. Now the hard part of learning about what I believed needed to run it's course. I had never read the Quran. This book that I felt was true revelation from God, I had never seen. I kept my belief as a secured secret inside of myself. Knowing that I had submitted, yet thinking that I was in some way falling deep into something that would require a change in my life that would effect everyone around me. My parents would be hurt, my husband...would he understand? I mean he wouldn't talk to me about religion at all.
I constantly went over the tapes, my notes, and read the Bible more than I had in my whole life for the next week. I made myself read the New Testament and began discounting everything that went against the Oneness of God in the Old Testament. This made the process easier to know what was placed there by someone uninspired, and someone truly inspired. God is consistent, perfect, and free from errors. His true prophets and messengers too would be consistent in a like manner. Since I had already considered my self to be a Jew of sorts, this was not a difficult task.
After a week or so had passed of my delving into the Bible extracting truth, and rejecting lies, I decided to tell my husband of my belief. He called from work at his lunch time. He asked how I was, and how the baby was doing. I commented that we were both fine and laying beside each other on the couch. I said, " Honey, I need to tell you something." I didn't even give him time to ask what it was, I just said it. " Honey, I am a Muslim and I believe in Allah as one, and in Muhammad and what was given to him, but I need a Quran." He answered, " This isn't some kind of thing someone just jumps into. This is something that requires thought and total conviction. We'll need to talk about this when I get home." I was stunned by his reply. He seemed to be discouraging me in what I believed in. I was intent on telling him that he had no say in the matter and that he couldn't change my belief for any amount of money, or any length of time discouraging me. I didn't learn until some years later that he broke down crying after he hung the phone, and he thanked Allah, and made an oath to practice what he knew was right. He asked God to forgive him and when he got home, he recited the athan in our baby's right ear, and the iqama in her left ear; something he had never done with any of the other 4 children.
He came home and was silent for a length of time. He then said, " Are certain that this is what you believe? There is no going back now if you say yes." I replied that I was totally sure and I felt like God had been guiding me to this time for my whole life. The next day he brought me a Quran and we went to Tulsa. On October 14, 1990, In front of my aunt, her husband, and my husband, I recited: AshaHadoo Ana La illaha illalah wa Ashadoo Ana Muhamadan Rasoolulah. I took a shower saying bismillah Alrahman Iraheem over my head three times, then over my right and left shoulders, respectively. I was a Muslim. Alhamdulilah.
I was dedicated to learn the salat in Arabic and in three days time I had perfect pronunciation. My only hurdle was hijab. I said for a month that I would never cover my hair. After a month I thought better when I had read the Quran and from that time on I have been Muhajibah. All praise is Allah's.
I think Allah for guiding me in the manner that He has. So many things make sense now. All of the what-ifs are clarified and understandable. If I hadn't had my first child so young, my parents would have never agreed to let me marry so very young. If my husband had practiced his religion while I was not a Muslim, this would have caused a lot of conflict. Although it was wrong of him, it happened, and for each thing there is a reason beyond our comprehension. If the church had succeeded in killing my conscience and guilt process as I mentioned earlier, I would have felt free to do anything with no fear of accountability. God gave us a conscience to guide us. We should feel bad when we do something wrong, it is a needed trait for true repentance. In order to be really humble, one has to remember their sins and forget their good deeds. Otherwise we will become prideful and boasting; a major sin.
I am also thankful that I knew Islam before I really knew Muslims. People still today, more than 1400 years after the advent of Islam can't differentiate between culture and Islam. Some combine them even opposing Islam altogether. Indeed, in some cases, culture is more important.
For any Christian reading this, I really recommend learning about how Jesus lived his life as a Jew. Jewish beliefs were taught and studied by Jesus at every point in his life. You cannot know about what Jesus was like by reading what the man who killed his followers wrote. There is an excellent website describing Jewish beliefs at: http://www.jewfaq.org/index.htm
You will be surprised to learn that there is little ritual difference between Islam and Judaism. Also, there is little difference between the two in major aspects in foundations of belief.
If you really want to know what Jesus would do, if you really want to know what Jesus taught and believed, learn about the Jewish beliefs. It is imperative to know that blood sacrifice is not only unnecessary, it was never done as it is explained by the church. It is so important to know that the laws of the Torah were viewed as a form of blessing and guidance and never the burden as it is implied as when it is explained to you that you are freed from the laws under the New Testament. If Jesus said that he didn't come to change the laws, then even if you accept the church doctrine of salvation, the laws remain valid. Read, Read, Read. Salvation is obtained by repentance; it was the manner of forgiveness before Jesus(as) and it remains the same now. Jesus prayed to God by falling prostrate on his face. If he were God, this would seem ridiculous. Don't limit God by saying that He can't forgive without blood, no where in the rituals as practiced by Jesus is this written or believed. God does as He pleases and cannot be contained in any form, whether you have a vision of it or not. Muslims have the same God of the Biblical prophets. Arab Christians refer to God as Allah. Allah is the Arabic word for God. Allah is not the "Muslim God."
Finally, may God be with you in your search for truth, or even just understanding. If you're sincerely seeking, God will never abandon you in disbelief. I hope that truth will flood over you, making plain all things, and truly making your cup overfill.
Some day in the future I will inshaAllah explain how I came to be a Shia, inshaAllah.
www.shiarightpath.com

Sister Um Ali

Written by Sister Um Ali
When I was 7 my cousin married a man from Saudi Arabia. He was muslim. My Christian family was not very practicing so I became very interested in the things he did and he answered many questions that i had. He went back to Saudi Arabia when I was 9. At age 10 my parents divorced and i went to live with my grandparents and started attending church regularly.
I had lots of questions because the things he said had stuck with me and i wanted to know why the Baptist church I now was attending believed and did things differently from him. But when I asked questions I was labeled a bad seed and trouble maker. I was told I did not have faith and I needed to pray more. When I was 16, I went to work at a fast food place and met a guy who was from Iraq. He was a refugee. He had been here in the USA for less than a year. We would discuss many things, especially religion. We married 4 months later. And he was adamant that I study and if I wanted to become Muslim it would be for the right reasons and not because of him. While he was a good Muslim, he was not close to all of the things that make you a true Shia. So I was kind of a Muslim in name only. A year after our marriage I had my son and a year later my daughter. I almost died giving birth to my daughter and when we returned home from the hospital I decided to wear hijab. I was 19 years old then. I lived in a small southern town and at the time was the only hijabi. Now, 7 years later, there are 4 sisters who wear hijab. I wanted to raise my daughter the right way and I never wanted her to question hijab. I often wonder if I had had two sons would I have worn hijab back then or not.. but alhamdulillah I am glad I was given the strength to wear it back then. I feel like I took shahada twice, once at age 17 and once at age 25. At 25, I was divorced and I took it very hard so i dived head first into studying my Islam more and to find out the things I did not know.. My ex-husband never commemorated Moharram. He is deeply opposed to it. So this year was the first time my kids and I could openly and freely practice our Islam. Sometimes I feel very ashamed at all the years I wasted as a Muslim. But inshallah I am learning now and teaching my kids and inshallah I will make up for lost time inshallah.
www.shiarightpath.com

Sister J.L. Ahen

Written by Sister J.L. Ahen
I was born in the Midwestern America to an upper middle class family. My mom was catholic, my dad Christian, although he didn't go to church. His family was Baptist. I went to a number of different churches / denominations growing up. Since I was 5, I can remember being confused about the concept of the trinity, and the fact that all you had to do was accept Jesus as your saviour seemed too easy. I couldn't understand how God could have a son, and sacrifice him for others' sins. This didn't effect my belief in God, I never denied his existence, rather, just didn't know how to reach him. I went through subsequent periods of being 'religious' (blindly accepting faith) and rebelling / questioning.

My father was an alcoholic. He was physically abusive to my mom, and verbally abusive to my brother and me. He was quite prejudiced - due to his affiliations with certain white supremecist groups... as well as freemasons... something I didn't know until much later in life. He was so prejudiced that he believed all Mexicans were lazy, and if you ate too much rice you'd get slanted eyes like Asians! He severly condemned blacks (as descendents of apes) and Arabs weren't much better. Alhamdulillah my mother divorced him and remarried, taking us as far away as possible from him. He still had visitation, and continued to drink until it ruined his marriage, career, and family ties. My step father was terrific, a father in the true sense of the word.

I was always at the top of my class in school, but was quite a trouble maker, clever enough not to get caught very often. I was never a part of any 'group' or clique in jr high or high school. I had friends from each group, even from other nationalities just to spite my father, but I was pretty independent. I went throught the different teen phases from sports, to rock and roll to punk rock (weird hair experiments) to anarchism to radio/tv/modelling... I, like many, thought that independence / freedom would make me happy. When I got a car and a job at 16, look out! I hate to remember all the grief I caused my poor mother.... it was fun for awhile, but I still wasn't happy. I rushed thru highschool and into university without thinking, just intent on finishing. That, I thought, would make me happy. All the time, in the back of my mind, I kept thinking: Where does it end? There has to be more to life than this. My next question when I found myself unhappy was always, then what?

When you grow up in a society that doesn't place much emphasis on religion, you look for guidance from other sources, which may be the reason so many people are heading down the wrong path. Divorce, drug / alcohol use, the break down of the family unit, materialism, etc.. are 'normal' or common in that society. Unfortuanately, sports heroes and musicians are not necessarily good role models. My mother was a good influence on me, but I was quite rebellious and very head strong. I had to find out for myself.

The Rude Awakening......

When I was 17 I took an honors course in comparative relgion. It really got me thinking. I started my 'investigation' into different relgions. I tried Christianity again, to no avail. Judaism from the beginning didn't appeal to me. I delved into Atheism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Confucianism, Taoism, Shintoism.... Wicca... you name it. I started to meet people of different religions and have discussions with them. I could see some good in most of them, but not enough to convince me. I was an avid reader and remembered something I had read years before (I even used to read encyclopedias and dictionaries... ) about Saudi Arabia... about pork and alcohol being forbidden and there being a Prophet called Mohammed.... like many at the time, I erroneously believed that muslims worshipped Mohammed, in the same way Christians believed Jesus is the son of God (astaghfirallah).

My first encounter with Islam in a course wasn't too convincing. They talked a lot about poetry: sufism, the pillars of faith, the Prophet Mohammed and very little about the history of Islam. Somewhere about this time I started to meet muslims/Arabs. I thought the women were oppressed and never dreamed I'd ever become muslim. Not me, I'd never be fooled by 'the false Prophet'.... (God forgive me) Subhannallah, once I started reading about Islam, I couldn't stop. It was like a hunger, that only more knowledge could satisfy. I started with a translation of the Holy Quran. I was mezmerized by the Arabic recitation, even though I didn't understand it. The pillars of faith sounded noble and logical.No trinity! One God, pure and simple. Islam was a comprehensive religion, covering all aspects of life. I marvelled at the revelation of the Quran to the Prophet Mohammed (pbuh). I was amazed at how I could have spent 18 years learning, and yet feel that I knew nothing. I felt ashamed at my ignorance. All these years, I had been wrong. How could that be? Later it would become obvious why we were never taught about the true Islam. I knew it was only a matter of time before I converted, but I was still stubborn then, and wanted to be sure it wasn't just another phase I was going through. In my heart, I was muslim, but needed more conviction before openly professing it. It was a big leap that I was going to take. I was aware of the Shia since the revolution had been in full swing for some time now, this was late 1980s. Ofcourse I thought they were the bad guys. I thought the sunni were right, until I got into reading about the history of Islam. I wondered what happened after the Prophet died.... and when I read about bani Saqeefa, I thought, this is not democratic! This arose my suspicion, and further investigation. I bought or borrowed any books I could find. One of the arab guys from the university (who later became my DH ) took me to meet some of the other guys' wives, who were mostly shia. They were a great help to me. They answered my questions and accepted me into their study circle. (May Allah reward their efforts) My life changed forever, alhamdulillah. I became muslim, got married, and started covering, praying, fasting... My husband provided me with every opportunity to learn, taking me to conferences and arranging for me to talk/discuss with many imams/ sheikhs / sayyids. With their help (rakabt safinat ahlul bayt ) I became a follower of the ahlul bayt .

I was mentally at peace and satisfied with my decision. However, then I had my parents to deal with. My mom was a bit apprehensive at first, but supported my decision. I lost lots of 'friends' and some family members. My father was difficult and made my husband and I miserable until we came here. However, he did quit drinking and I have forgiven him for what he did. We now have a good relationship. He has accepted my conversion and my husband and children. Although I felt alienated from my family and friends, Allah has blessed me with good muslim sisters as friends ever since.

No regrets......

I lived in the US as a muslim for over 2 years before coming here. I've been in the Gulf for 13 years. When I go back 'home', it is a serious culture shock for me. I look at things much differently now. I see the value of Islam, what it has given me, like salvation, peace, true freedom, and dignity. Before, everything was grey area.... now it's black and white. Islam became the white, the light of my life. For those of you born to muslim families, you don't know what a gift you have been given for free. Don't take it for granted. It is the most precious thing you can ever imagine to possess! I have been truly blessed and hope and pray that Allah (swt) Lord of the worlds, will accept my good deeds and forgive my sins, and help me to guide as many as possible to the religion of Islam, through the teachings of the Holy Quran, the Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) and the infallible ahlul bayt. Allahu Akbar, alhamdullillahi rub al alimeen! Alla homa sulli ala Mohammed wa ahli Mohamed!
AlMujtaba Islamic Network

Brother Ali Husayn al-Mahdi

Written by Brother Ali Husayn al-Mahdi
My real name is Greg Sowden. I converted to Islam from the Roman Catholic church on December 15, 2001 (Ramadan 29, 1422). I have chosen the Muslim name Ali Husayn al-Mahdi. I'm 19 years old. My birthday is July 26, 1985. I would like to become a high school history teacher. I would also like to study Islam one day at the Hawzah in Qom. I want to travel as well.

I go to Wilfrid Laurier University in Waterloo, Ontario, Canada. My family lives between Port Dover and Simcoe in Ontario, Canada on a 400-acre poultry/beef cattle farm. Port Dover is on Lake Erie. I'm interested in geography (countries), world history, world events (especially in Palestine, Iraq, Iran, Lebanon, and the entire Islamic world) and (Shia) Islam.
I bear witness that there is no God worthy of worship but Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful and that Mohammad is His final Prophet and Messenger and Ali ibn Abu Talib is his rightful successor until the Day of Judgement!
I am a convert to Islam! Alhamdolellah!
I will tell you about my life....
My family is Roman Catholic. Before I became Muslim I went to church every week and never questioned my beliefs. I was a devout Catholic and whenever I heard someone say something wrong about Catholicism I would try to prove them wrong. My uncle is Protestant and he and I would often talk about which religion was right. My mum says that I am not the "right religion" anymore. She keeps telling me I was happy with my religion before, so, she wonders, why did I change? I became a Muslim because I found out about Islam and became very interested. I became convinced that al-Islam is the true faith sent down by God. By learning more and more everyday about my faith I have "fell in love" with Islam.
My e-friend from Kuwait, who I met from www.PenPal.net in 2000 taught me about Islam. I knew very little about Islam before before he began to teach me, so I guess he "opened my eyes" to Islam: the truth!
I never thought about converting to Islam because I thought I was happy being Catholic. But then I started taking a course at high school called "World Religions" and in my textbook it had some information about Jesus (PBUH) in Islam. So, I went home and looked this topic up on the Internet. The information I found sounded convinced me that what Islam said was the truth. The arguments were good. And there was proof of it in the Bible! I found information about the miracles of Islam and those in the Quran. I read a few more articles about Islam and they "enlightened" me.
So I emailed my Kuwaiti friend and told him about my findings. I told him that "maybe I should convert!" I didn't plan on doing it soon. I thought I would convert after I turned 18 because I couldn't get to a masjid. I told my Kuwaiti friend this and he said I could say the Shahadah to him. So on December 15, 2001 (Ramadan 29, 1422) I said the Shahadah to him over MSN Messenger (I have said it to some other Muslim friends since then as well). By saying those wonderful words I became a Muslim! Alhamdolellah! All Praise be to Allah!
My other e-friend sent me a Qur'an in the mail in January 2002, and it is the most beautiful book I have ever read. I have to keep it hidden because my brother wants to burn it!
I became Muslim because the religion makes so much more sense than Christianity. The Trinity makes absolutely no sense. 1+1+1 does not equal 1! Nabi Mohammad (PBUH) is mentioned in the Bible, and the arguments refuting Christian teachings were so true. The Quran has so many miracles in it, and it obviously was written by Allah!
My family is against my conversion. But they do not know what Islam is. I have tried to teach them but they do not care and criticize me! Before I left for university my mum made me go to church every week. I wanted to go to a Masjid, but I lived in in a small town where there is no masjid near me and I couldn't drive to the city to go to one. Alhamdolellah, I can now go to a masjid.
On Wednesday, September 10, 2003, I went to the masjid for the first time, Alhamdolellah! I went with Brother Hasnein (who I know from ShiaChat). He and I are going to university in Waterloo, Ontario. He goes to University of Waterloo, and I go to Wilfrid Laurier University; which are about a 15 minute walk apart. We went for the Birthday of Imam Ali (AS). We took the bus there and we kind of got lost walking down the street because the masjid is in the middle of a residential area. Then we saw a woman in hijab going into the masjid and so we went in. We got there late but we caught most of the Khutbah, which was in English. I didn't understand some of the Arabic used at the masjid but I caught a few phrases. After that, we did Maghrib and Isha' prayers. That was the first time I have prayed with other Muslims, and it was a wonderful experience. Alhamdolellah! After that Hasnein introduced me to a few people, and we talked for a few minutes. And we had ice cream and chocolate bars. Then it was time to back to university. Sheikh Saleem drove Hasnein and I home and showed us the Halal/Muslim places in town. Since then I have gone to every masjid event that I can go. I thank Allah (SWT) that my masjid has accepted me as a member of their community, and has done so much to help me.
Hopefully my mum does not find out about this because I would be in deep trouble. I talked to her on the phone and she said that that she phoned earlier and I wasn't in. I told her that I went out with some friends (not a lie, Alhamdolellah. because I did go out with friends). She didn't believe me because I am a "stay at home" type of person. Alhamdolellah!
Since I have become a Muslim, I have made many good Muslim e-friends. They are there for me when I have questions and when I need prayers.
I am proud that I have found the true path - Shia Islam. I know that following the AhlulBayt (AS) of the Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) is what Allah wants all of us to do.
Wa Salam!
Ali

AlMujtaba Islamic Network

Brother Yahya Dhulfiqar Abdus-Salaam

Written by Brother Yahya Dhulfiqar Abdus-Salaam
Asalaamu Alaikum W/r W/b,
My name is Brother Yahya Abdus-Salaam, I am a 17 year old revert to Islam who has chosen to personally submit to the Jafar'i Madhab of Islam.

I grew up as the youngest of two boys raised by my single parent Filipina Mother, I was given a very strong and well disciplined upbringing by her and she also raised both me and my brother to have the foundations of faith in our hearts. Being a Filipina from the capital city of Manila, she was of the Roman Catholic denomination of Christianity (he ancestors were taken from Islam into Christianity by the Sword of the Spanish Inquisitors) and so I too was raised as a Roman Catholic. From the age of 9-13, I stopped attending any religious gatherings what so ever, but I always remained interested in all aspects of theology, I read of Hindu, Ancient Egyptian and Buddhist legends as a child and the more I read, the more I became interested.
Little was I aware of it at the time, but I was exposed to Islam for much of my life, my father (whom I`d see for 2 weeks a year) worked in Indonesia for 12 years of my life, before moving to Kuwait then Egypt, each of which I have visited. However I was not aware of Islam to a very high extent, in fact my ignorance was to such an extent that before going into High School, I thought the Hijab was a Hindu sub-continental practice!!
At the age of 13, I went through a difficult experience, I started to let stress from school get to me and to help cope with these difficulties, I became a "born again" Catholic and I took my first communion at the late age of 13 along with kids of 9 years old etc. I became a firm believer of the Christian doctrine and believed at that time with all my heart that Christ was the Son of God (Astagfirullah), I could never accept he was God himself.
When I was 14 going on 15, I visited Egypt for the second time and decided to pay a visit to the world's oldest University in existance- The Al-Azhar Theological School of the Sunni Madhabs, it was a life-changing experience for I was given my first translation of the Holy Qur'an.
I returned to the UK, with the copy of the Holy Qur'an Translation by Pickthall, and I continued my studies of religion etc at home. I decided that at that time after completing High School, I was going to train to become a Minister outwith the Catholic Church because I couldn't agree with either the divinity of the Pope nor with the Divinity of Christ or pact of celibacy anymore. I was drawn to the various denominations outwith Catholicism but couldn't agree with the divinity of Christ anymore so I left the faith of Christianity and became an Agnostic.
I continued my studies of religion and was drawn to the following faiths:
Judaism (Kabballah)- Was put off by the Racial Superiority teachings within the Jewish Faith.
Jehovah's Witnesses- Seemed to be very cult-like and I could never fully take it seriously.
Bahai'ism- I realised it was a very bad attempt at uniting all the various faith's founders/prophets despite the fact all of them contradicted each other.
Then came Islam, I had forgotten about Islam for a while, It seemed as if It was the only faith I never taken the time to study, and Alhamdulillah- I'm glad I had chosen to study it at this time, if it had been during my Christian believing child days, I may have rejected it. Islam was everything I wanted Christianity to be and I could accept everything so easily. I had many issues over how I'd break the news to my family, but I went ahead and read more about the religion for a complete year, I was damned not going to be joining a religion through ignorance only to leave it one year later.
Alhamdulillah after one year of reading, I decided I was definitely to become a Muslim so at the age of late 15, I recited Shahada to myself without any witnesses at first. I openly told my family after 3 months but since I knew more about religion in general as well as Christianity I had the ability to refute whatever lies they had to throw at me.
I became a Shaf'i Sunni Muslim, and at first I honestly believed that I wouldn't go near Shia Islam with a barge pole, I saw them as Catholics of Islam, and thought of Imamate to be Islamic Popery. It was just my irrationaly hatred for the Catholic Church that had allowed my emotions to take over, also I must admit for someone who has just come into Islam after researching concepts on the internet (often Salafi), We are often propelled into a drastic change where we are turned into Over zealous Monotheists who due to insecurity of their Monotheism turn to accusing many practices of Shirk (Associating partners with Allah) or we accuse them of being Bidah (Innovations).
I started going to my local Mosque, I learnt Islam under the Sheikh of the Mosque and I learnt to love the companions of the Prophet, but most of all I learnt the strength of love for Allah (SWT) which is uncomparable and I learnt to love the Prophet Muhammad Ibn Abdullah (SAW) as well as his relatives.
After a year of sharing this deep love for Allah (SWT), Muhammad (SAW) and his companions(ra), I began to have a stronger Aqeedah and Iman, I was no longer insecure- so at the age of 17, I decided I would approach the path of learning about all Sects of Islam because they are all my Brothers (as in all those Islamic Divisions recognised as Muslims).
After reading about the Shia beliefs and why they hold such beliefs, I realised that if we as Muslims love Allah (SWT) as much as we claim we do, then we should love the mercy for all mankind which he sent to us (Muhammad SAW) and if we love his Final Messenger then we should listen to what he wanted us to do and we should love those whom he loved dearest. It all began to make sense, We should love the Ahlul Bayt(as) of the Prophet (SAW). I read the story of Ghadeer and I wept, I realised that so many people had gone astray from the Prophet's wishes and that we had turned our backs on a key principle of Islam which in my opinion was Justice.
Where was the justice in sitting back whilst Ali(as) was kept away from his divine right as Imam of the Muslims?
Where was this Justice when Fatima az-Zahra(as) was humiliated and treated cruely by the first two "Caliphs" of Islam?
Where was this Justice when Imam Hassan(as), the grandson of the Prophet(SAW) was poisoned?
Where was this Justice when Imam Husayn(as) and his family members were slaughtered on the plains of Karbala, including his sixth month old baby son whilst defending and saving Islam from a Tyrant Ruler who was the epiphany of Drunkedness?
The Shia teachings all started to make sense, and I could relate to the opression of the Innocent, Pure Ahlul Bayt of the Prophet(as), I read books like Peshawar Nights and Nahj ul-Balagha and it all made sense, I could see, the veil was lifted completely from my eyes instead of just half way.
Ashadu anna ilaha ilAllah, Wa Ashadu anna Muhammadar Rasoolallah.
Allahoma Sali Ala Muhammad wa alla ali Muhammad,
Jazak'Allah Khair and Allah Hafiz,
Bro Yahya Dhulfiqar Abdus-Salaam.

www.shiarightpath.com